Love = Facefucks

It’s the weekend. Early morning, a young hetero couple is watching GoT on Netflix. They share a glass of wine and start to get heated. Shirts are removed. Soaking panties are thrown aside. The woman is heavily aroused after an hour of watching ultra violence, dragons and prostitutes getting brutally railed by masculine barbarians.

So what does her man do in this scenario? You would think he is gonna rough the ever living fuck out of her gushing holes, but alas it isn’t the case.

The poor woman instead gets treated to 10 minutes of poorly executed missionary and a failed attempt at cunnilingus.

Way to go, loser. Your woman wanted you to give her the aggressive boinking of a lifetime and you fuck it up. Over and over. Why? Because you don’t wanna demean her.. it’s disrespectful to rawdog your significant other like a Santa Monica callgirl. At least, that’s what some guys keep telling themselves. 

We have a generation of men that lack the testicular fortitude needed to properly give dick to their poor ladies. THAT IS WHY THEY FUCK THE POOL GUY AND TYRONE.

YOU ARE NOT PUSHING HER SHIT IN, BUDDY.

Newsflash! Most women want to be fucked and they want to be fucked hard. She wants you to take charge and inseminate her like a porn star that’s hopped up on erection pills.

I honestly believe that a healthy weekly dose of humiliating, no holds barred sex is the key to a successful relationship. Of course, you still gotta have game and not be a cuck but that’s a different post for a different audience.

Would it kill you to pull her hair, smack her firm ass and whisper dirty things in her ear once in a while? It doesn’t mean you don’t love her, silly. It shows you care!

Buy a set of handcuffs, a whip and make her gag on your magic Johnson! Man the fuck up, tofu eater.

Remember, kids! Break her cervix.. not her heart.

What Might Have Been

I been playing the good ol’ “What If?™” game in my head recently. Yes, that game where you beat yourself up for past mistakes and wasted opportunities.

I am not one for regrets, but I sometimes can’t help but wonder if I missed out on something life changing. If you guessed earlier that this is gonna be about women.. you are correct, jerk.

What If?™ that beautiful woman you never properly had the sack to hit it off with was gonna lead you to the best next six months of your life?

What If?™ you were gonna finally find your wholesome monogamy worthy lady and you never scared her off by posting videos of yourself doing drugs and fucking hoes on your Instagram?

What If?™ the woman you sent your sausage pics to was actually really into you and you blew it because now she thinks you’re a perverted fuck?

What If?™ I could stop and enjoy life for a moment and not piss off every person I meet?

What If?™ I was just another boring normative kid? One that has zero personality, a mediocre girlfriend that doesn’t love him and friends who pretend to like him? Just another idiot living in the Matrix, plugged in and too delusional to realize how fucked up his life is?

What If?™

It’s 1:37 AM, probably not gonna be able to sleep and dream of perky blondes. As usual.

Fuck.

 

Californication

It seems like no matter where I go, I can’t escape this huge cloud of Hollywood bullshit that is chasing us all into oblivion. You know what I’m talking about.

That fake and shallow California image rich Hebrews and hipster schmucks like to sell us. The coolest place on earth. The wannabe moral compass of America that is ironically the most decadent place since Sodom and Gomorrah. You see it on TV as a kid, you hear about it in your music and travel aficionados just won’t shut the fuck up about how great it is.

I know they have legal weed, amazing sunsets, sexually loose women and fancy expensive Gyms.. but is the City of Angels really worth all the hype?

Seems like anyone who lives there for a decent chunk of time eventually grows disillusioned with the place. They get tired of the political chaos, the crime is too much for them to handle, the broads with fake tits get old and become too toxic for anyone looking to settle. Even Venice Beach is no longer any fun, it’s just another industry meme.

Yet even after understanding all that, I just can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on this weird little planet known as California (or Mexico Lite, your pick).

I want to experience the hypocrisy, the awesome cinematic view, the horrible heat, the nightlife, the blowjobs in the In-N-Out parking lot, the homeless people and even the gangbangers!

L.A. is my love and hate. I lust for it. But I also feel nauseated when I hear it calling out for me. It represents everything I yearn for yet utterly despise.

AND I HAVEN’T EVEN BEEN THERE YET!

West Hollywood brunettes, keep on waiting for me.

Fight!

Has there even been a greater thrill in the history of mankind than getting punched in the face? Fine, maybe depositing your load inside a vag for the first time, but the point still stands.

Fighting in my eyes equals and sometimes even transcends drug induced euphoria. And you all know how much I love that.

There’s something that just feels so right about being involved in physical confrontation. The blood, the scars. It’s like reconnecting with your primal ancestors. Win or lose, you stepped up to the plate and you did battle.

You feel like a goddamn MAN. The boost in endorphins and testosterone has you feeling like a demi-God, a sexual Tyrannosaurus and a professional killer all rolled up into one big masculine package. Cliché, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

I miss my days as an amateur MMA fighter. Hell, I miss my days fighting random kids in school. Everyone needs a modicum of violence in their life. Now I’m not saying you need to beat on strangers in the supermarket, but it would be beneficial to engage in some moderated form of combat.

It makes me sad that there people in this life that never experienced a fight. They’re missing out on one of the true joys of life.

It’s fun and it’s practical! You get to beat up on your homies for shits and giggles, you have an outlet for aggression, you improve your health and you will be prepared in case anyone ever tries to bump you off for some reason.

Stop sleeping on the wonders of fighting and go get punched in the face.

Make Hedonism Great Again

I for one am an avid fan of Hedonism, I think it gets a bad reputation. Hedonism is just like those thin Real Feel condoms. Risky, but satisfying.

Life is fucked up as it is in this crazy world, why shouldn’t we indulge ourselves in the pursuit of pleasure? Sure beats suffering.

People will tell ya it’s a waste of your life and a detriment to your health, that you will reach old age as a broken man and that you need to take responsibility and make something of yourself. Whatever that means.

Well, I don’t wanna reach old age. I don’t wanna be responsible, not to the extent where I throw away the potential of my life at least. People just want you to be idle, get enslaved by some asshole boss for minimum wage, marry a hag that had the time of her life getting creampied by strangers in college and slowly rot away with your spoiled bratty kids. That’s what it’s all about for them.

Growing old and settling down is greatly overrated. For some odd reason, everyone I know is eager to become an old man. They want the retirement plan, the nagging spoiled kids, the fat wife that used to be smoking hot and the erectile dysfunction medications..

What ever happened to partying until you’re 40 and dying peacefully after snorting coke off the firm ass of a 20 year old Brunette hardbody from LA? You know, the life God intended for us. Obviously.

Why are people so ready and willing to waste away their youth? That shit is something you gotta cling to and never let go, motherfucker. You only get one crack at this so get it right. Life is too short to work an office job and dance with fat chicks.

You should be going H.A.M. on the bitch known as life. You gotta storm life and pounce on its ass like a horny tiger looking for some tail. Dominate that shit. Experience everything you can before growing saggy man-tits and developing bladder disorders.

I want people to take risks. Do drugs, bang a ton of broads, make dirty money, travel, get into fights every week and develop brain damage, hang out with criminals.. the whole nine yards.

A little hedonism never hurt no one. I think the damage of living a boring life is worse than anything I just mentioned above.

I rather die in the prime of my life from chasing thrills and sticking needles in my ass than growing old to be a useless grey haired cunt, no offense to all grandpas out there.

Not be a generic Tumblr thot, but you really do only live once.

Do something crazy and have some fun for once you wankers. Let loose. End rant. Three cheers for degenerates.

 

Protect Yo Gut: Basic Yet Crucial Tips For Digestion

Guys, the older I get the more I understand the importance of a healthy digestive system. It’s so important and I can’t stress that enough. Apparently, our guts impact way more than how we absorb food. It can affect our cognitive function, our mood, whether or not we burn fat, our freaking libido and much much more. That’s just when putting it in layman’s terms, imagine saying this in medical lingo. Whew!

I could go on all fucking day about this and the science behind all the recent gut biome research, but that’s not what I am here to do.

I am here to give you normies, the basic guidelines on how to not fuck your stomach up and live with an optimal or at least decent digestive tract. I wish my Dad knew this when I was a teen because my digestion still suffers horribly from eating like a pig when young. So that’s why I am here. I’m your daddy.

  1. Avoid gluten, soy, dairy, vegetable oils, processed foods, legumes and anything high in Omega-6 like the plague. Minimize the consumption of these ASAP.
  2. Supplement with anti-inflammatory substances such as Curcumin, Berberine, Omega 3 Fish Oil and CBD oil. If you ain’t scared of drugs and oppressive laws regarding their possession, get BPC-157, TB-500, and HGH. This last part is aimed towards guys with IBS/IBD like me. It’s my extreme healing stack.
  3. Eat whole and organic food as much as possible. No GMO bullshit. Real food!
  4. Exercise like a mofo as a means to boost blood circulation, the immune system and reduce inflammation. Healthy bod, healthy diet, healthy flora.
  5. Sleep well. Poor sleep negatively affects the gut (this is where I fuck up..)
  6. Learn which foods trigger you PERSONALLY. Some of the foods on the list might actually make you feel great, but others won’t. Know your body. It’s very individual.
  7. Take digestive enzymes and probiotics.
  8. Hydrate, madafaka! 2 liters a day minimum.
  9. Don’t eat out in restaurants. They cook with all the shitty oils I advise you to avoid. Better to eat out your girl than eat out at the local burger joint.
  10. If you got chronic pain due to a compromised gut biome or chronic disease, avoid pharmaceutical pain relief medicine unless absolutely necessary.  Shit like opioids and anti-inflammation drugs that are catabolic and send your body to hell while allegedly helping you heal.

 

That’s about it. Like I said, very simple basics. I learned all this through personal trial and error and some research online from shady Chinese academical studies. I am sure someone will disagree with what I wrote, everyone has their own hot take on digestion and gut health. Oh well. I ain’t bullshitting though. Do with my info what you will.

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND, YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. OUR GUTS ARE UNIQUE AND SO IS OUR BIOCHEMISTRY. LIKE I SAID, THESE ARE GENERAL GUIDELINES. SO DON’T BITCH IF SOMETHING ON THIS LIST DOESN’T TRIGGER YOUR TUMMY LIKE IT DOES FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

This was the first post to focus on health stuff. I think it went over well.

Peace out, guys. Go eat something healthy and absorb some Vitamin D from the hot summer sun. I will try to do the same.

The Benefits of Fucking Up

Messing shit up is never a pleasant experience. Whether it’s something minor like accidentally sending porn to your aunt or something more serious like destroying a great relationship and losing a dream job, mistakes ALWAYS suck.

But that’s a part of life. Always was, always will be. You gotta learn how to handle mistakes. Your stupid ass will inevitably make them.

Making mistakes is actually a good thing. Without error, there is no progress. That’s why I always bounce back quickly whenever I screw up (which happens a lot). I analyze whatever stupid shit I did and try to make sure I don’t ever do that again. Although, most of times my dumbass tends to repeat the same errors.. WHICH IS JUST FINE!

Eventually we will all learn our lessons. That’s the point. I’m actually pleased every time I screw the pooch because I gain more insights and as a result improve as a man. The shit we eat now will eventually become sweet creamy chocolate. Yum.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO FUCK UP UNTIL THE COWS COME HOME! APPROACH A HOTTIE AND GET REJECTED, TRY TO BENCH 500 LBS AND DROP THE BAR.. CRASH AND BURN, BABY! THAT’S HOW YOU GROW!

Guarantee something positive will come out of it because you will know better come next time. You better.

Disclaimer: Don’t anything TOO stupid on purpose, yeah? But put yourself out there. Life will reward ya.