The Tudy Chronicles

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster”

-Henry Hill

Who doesn’t want to be a gangster? Think about it for a minute.

You got steady access to top notch cigars, your friends are all ball breaking tough guys, you rob and cheat people out of their money and you get fly bitches despite being fat.

Fugget about it!

In this day and age when the governments cheat and whack us all daily.. who doesn’t want to give it a shot themselves? They can’t have all the fun!

Imagine yourself as a 6’0 wiseguy in floral shirts or a snappy blazer. You walk down Mulberry street with your head held high on your way to shake down innocent ethnics. You lay a few beatings and pay off some witnesses with a few bucks. So much fun.

You’re feared and beloved by misguided youths. They carry your moms bags out of respect. Lovely.

You run a harem of goomars while you have a wife and son at home. Beautiful.

Sure, you have to whack some good people along the way. Some friends you love. Lot of blood on those hands.. Oof madone, but you made an oath. Family first. And it pays. You’re a good soldier. Capo soon, God willing.

I mean, yeah.. Eventually you get pinched. Do time upstate. Lose it all. Probably because some ratfuck sang about you. The same man you invited over to dinner weekly. He hugged your kids.. No big deal.

You get out. Earn again. Rebuild. Wife gone. Kids messed up on the junk.

But there’s always a promotion around the corner. Hoes still sucking you. You’re a legendary hitman. No worries. Life is tight.

If you’re lucky, you reach 55. You’re an old fuck now. That promotion to underboss never came. You’re in a rot. Feds still gunning for your ass. It’s a new world. RICO is a motherfucker.

You become an old timer and an afterthought. No earning for the family, a burden. Hookers and skifooza floozies are your hobby and only skill.

You die of cancer and on your deathbed realize you had it all. The woman you loved is gone and you were better off going legit. Your kids will suffer from your mistakes.

Being a gangster is good.

Was it worth it?

The action, violence, pussy, the cash, the clout, the fear? Being the fucking man?

Would you do it over again?

Hell fucking yeah.

Lusting For A Busting

Disclaimer: I wrote this one lonely night when I had too much pressure on my sack. Enjoy! 

3 AM

I lay awake at night thinking of you and all the things we could do

You know I don’t want romance and neither do you

We’re in agreement, but it’s not enough for you

I can give you a part of my heart but it’s not exclusive to you, you can give me your pussy but that you won’t do

The community eating, but I ain’t gonna be begging

I wanna see you shake your wagon, come meet my dragon

Spit my fire into you

Entering you is my mission, Lucy got me in a state of addiction

I tell myself you’re special and interesting,
I worked myself into a shoot

Take off the lingerie, give me my loot

Obsessed over the clam, try to be nice and the door gets slammed for good

Don’t know any better, grew up in the dirty hood

Be a prick, it might do the trick

Let’s just smoke weed then you can gag on my dick

Won’t shame for you being a freak

We alike, maybe that’s why we fail

Another day chasing some tail

Still searching for the Holy Grail

Progress slow as a motherfucking snail

FIN.

No Fugazis

The word of the day is authenticity.

Does anyone know what authenticity is nowadays in (current year)?

When I look around all I see are fake people living a gimmick, no different than the Iron Sheik and Sgt. Slaughter playing dress up in MSG.

We got people putting out fronts and acting a fool to impress other people on social media who don’t give a shit about them.

We tolerate people who we know damn well only like us for clout and attention and do nothing about it because we need the same clout and attention.

We have people who are scared to voice their opinions because they fear being ostracized.

We talk a lot about how we need to be more diverse and accepting as a society and how being different is amazeballs, but those same people are the ones who judge and shame anyone with a different non-conformist world view.

FUCK. THAT.

There is nothing more important in this world than you being yourself and staying true to your soul. And I mean truly being yourself, as in who you want to be as a human. Who you aspire to become. Who you are when no one is around. The real you that hides under that shell. Don’t let the news tell you what to think or do. Don’t let family and friends dictate your behavior. Don’t fall for groupthink bullshit. YOU DO YOU, KINGS AND QUEENS.

The world is full of douchebag satanic robots, don’t be another one of them.

If you a playboy at heart, be a fuckin playboy.

If you a traditional housewife and like that, do it.

If you a drug loving anti-establishment weirdo rebel, do as you please.

If you are a woman that loves to fuck, don’t hide it and pretend like you are a nun.. just embrace it and have fun.

If you are a gamer, rise the fuck up my dude and go enjoy some Metal Gear Solid.

DON’T LET ANYONE DICTATE YOUR UNIQUE CHARACTER.

You will NOT restrict your language, you will NOT let the judgment of the miserable get to you.

It’s better to be in a fortress of solitude than to be in the company of controlling cunts who think the script of life is for them to write.

Be open to critique and change, but you are a beautiful creature in the making.

Flourish on your own terms my friends.

Don’t be fugazi.

End rant.