Thirst Diaries

It was another gloomy fucking morning where I accidentally (seriously, I promise) found your old voice recordings. With that innocent sexy voice of yours that would cause a celibate and chaste monk to spunk instantly.

And I listened and I laughed and maybe even began redirecting blood flow to my nether region unintentionally.

And I smiled.

Thinking about how we could have been such an absolutely fucking dynamite couple.

We could have had a lovely garden together..

Some cute dogs!

A shared metal playlist.

And daily no holds barred fuckfests that involve me giving you multiple edged orgasms and putting you in a choker customized to my liking.

Babygirl you really missed out..

If I could bottle up my lust for you I’d sell it as a high end aphrodisiac on premium market auctions like the Wu-Tang did.

You annoying twat, shame.

Stop showing your delicious tits on IG too.

Don’t stop actually.

I fucking miss you so bad.


..
.

SIKEEEEE!

Bitch, tomorrow is a new day.

I don’t love these hoes, no matter how cute!

Skrrt!

DOOT DOOOOT DOOT!

Wicked Instagram Tits

I have broken my writing hiatus to discuss an important topic. Tits. On Instagram. Of the kind that is attached to problematic girls you want to dig out.

You know the type of tits I am talking about. It’s not about the size of the milk transporter.. but the attitude. The “ohicantwaittobeexposeddaily somanymenwilljerktheircocktomeat2am” tits.

The “I hate my dad that never raised me right” tits.

The “I enjoy teasing and manipulating men more than I do getting actually fucked” tits.

Would be lovely if women could actually exist without whoring themselves online for attention and cum drops. So much for independent bad bitches.

There’s only three options when you encounter these tits.

  1. You try to ignore the tits, do your best to not be desperate and hopefully fuck some moral value into her once.
  2. Spam her with likes, orbit her, and have zero respect for yourself as you endlessly climax to her cleavage.
  3. Unfollow and ignore lol.

Option three is optimal but cmon.. a mans gotta eat. Or at least try.

There’s no real point or lesson to this other than bitches ain’t shit and in a perfect world we’d all be making bank and wearing Rolexes instead of chasing dumb e-hoes and being constantly erect.

She’s not trying to fuck or even have a nice convo. She’s a dopamine hunting pussydemon with a hollowed soul. Beware.

Take away the digital platforms and ability to get free drinks and they would die. Literally. Via hanging.

It’s not all bad though. They’re very entertaining. Always fun to mock. Maybe troll. If you smashed, even better. Just don’t wife.. don’t be a fag like John Legend.

This is the only type of content I could churn out right now. Feels shallow and cliché to discuss wymen but why not? It’s topical.

Men, avoid dead eyed attention seeking meatflaps. Find a girl that likes nature. But not TOO much nature.. because they just give head to hikers in the woods.

Go buy a cigar. I’m outtie.