What U Up To?

Satan pulled up on yo boi and stared him in the eye

I thought I would die but he simply said..

What you up to?

Ignoring the girls that maybe like you?

Spending too much money, that’s not like you

While you think about the girl with blue hair, yeah that’s what I do

Trolling around with blondie thots on Snapchat? Man..
fuck you

You gotta get an education that’s what you should do

Before big government comes around and drops you

Don’t buy the Rollie, you a fool

Money and investments are a tool, but you never learned that at school so

It’s almost 2 am, go to sleep dawg it’s over

Oh I forgot, it’s Mr. Insomnia forever

Oh he thinks he clever

Whatever..

Lucifer vanished after dropping some bars

I went back to “bed” to “sleep”

Rinse, lather, repeat

And the beat goes on

Where Is Da Luv

Why do we place guidelines and rules on love?

Whatever happened to just going with the flow?

Baby, fuck your friends and what the group text say

Fuck society and television cuz it’s just you and me and I’m not buying you a fancy watch or a vacation ticket

I just want to break your back on the sofa, whisper lies into your ear and love you hard without ever saying I love you

Don’t play games, just do your stupid hysteria and ask me if I’m cheating every two weeks so I can make jokes and DM girls on the side but fuck it.. you love me anyway right? Bring that fucking ass over here and let me play with your hair

You don’t know how much I like our shit

We’re so fucking toxic, let’s burn the continent

It’s fun till it ain’t

We both leave

You fuck some nerds and I keep on being a scumbag and then I die by the hands of government or drugs

Miss ya (never)

(sometimes)

Get Rich Kwik

We live in a sOcIeTY.. where there is an insane amount of money to be made at any given minute

Sadly, no one really knows how to get said scharole easily (without being a massive grifting jackoff)

The promising potential of crypto bubbles for example, no one can tell if their coin of the month is the golden ticket to riches until they get the deposit in the bank

Or alternatively lose all their cash and kill themselves

You catching my drift aren’t ya?

We all wanna be big dick swinging ballers making hella coin and clocking hoes daily

But it ain’t ez, just like pimpin’

Maybe selling courses and lying about your qualifications on Twitter while living abroad is the answer instead of investments and hard work?

Or going to a sleazy stock broker to scam me because I don’t do research?

How about a side hustle that gives me zero cash while I fool myself into believing it is worth it as I go fucking broke?

No, no..

Becoming an OnlyFans digital agent/promoter?

Maybe.. I like tits

Goddammit! How the fuck can I (legally) make money so I don’t have to be enslaved by the government during the upcoming 4th Reich?

Oh the struggle of our little lives

I just wanna make it out the hood

I mean, it’s a nice hood. Pretty safe. Lot of criminals living in harmony.. We don’t bother our own

Wu-Tang really had it correct

C.R.E.A.M.

CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME

DOLLA DOLLA BILLS YAAAALL

Pseudo-Rich Life

It’s 8 PM.

I’m bored and wanna go out. I anxiously approach the closet to pick out fashionable attires and open it, a gay midget jumps at me and claws my face!

I punch his tiny dick and kick him out a window. It’s a 7 story fall. I proceed and carefully pick out a fashionable attire since I am going out for some fine dining.

I put on a polo shirt, Clarks shoes and blue jeans.

Me and my homie roll out to the restaurant owned by a lame B-list TV chef. His food is good.

On the way there, I see a weesh nerd with low muscle mass and a mask.

I yell homophobic insults towards him and bully him. He flips me off timidly and runs away. We laugh.

Pull up to the spot.

Eat fine ass lamb fillets.

Smoke Cuban cigars.

Done and done. We major.

We leave at 1 AM and tip the waiter decently. He is happy.

Now it’s the AM, time to harass hot women online and ignore horny girls in the DM until they send me nudes. Can’t sleep. Still hungry.

Dean Martin time.

Got blocked twice but there’s an alluring Russian. Hm.

Foreign Digital Pussy

I hold a strong dislike for the majority of females in my country. I find them to be highly unpleasant and uneducated, with a sizeable ego and zero manners. Their aesthetic amount to feces. Nothing good.

In other words, they’re shallow fucking cunts who look like tanned balls. Most of them.

The “men” are even worse, don’t worry.

That’s why I always had a penchant to fantasize, fuck and sext exotic pussy from other continents. As broken as they might be, it’s better than home.

So much more reliable, submissive and pretty than the locals. The masculinity crisis of the west has made it easier for big trap cigar smoking studs to engage in LDR and secure foreign fuck toys for the future (present, if vacationing).

I love the fact that a chick with big tits on the other side of the world is playing with herself to my pictures and dreaming about fucking me. She might get to do it for real if I like her.

Literally had them call me a god.. small G. No blasphemy here. And I ain’t talking third world. I’m talking Canada and America and England.. which is foreign to me. Sigh.

Now there are decent dimes in the local economy, but it pales in comparison to the dollar. Ya dig?

Maybe if we had more artistic blue hair goths or BDSM loving Aryan blondes. A spicy brunette here and there.

It’s by no means me advocating to never touch a local, but if I do it makes me feel dead inside.

I’ll keep hustling though, ain’t no quitta bitch.

Online Gaming

It’s Sunday night.. the weather is cool, the steak you had was moderately tasty and you didn’t have a violent vomit attack tonight. Yay.

You spent most of the day drinking tea and taking vitamins, bullying your little brothers along the way in small doses.

Your friends are scumbags and they never wanna go out and when they do they always make you pay for their shit because they are broke and make bad business decisions.

There’s unanswered messages in your IG DMs because there’s girls you are ignoring. They’re being ignored because someone else ignored you so it’s time for your ego to feel good again.

You log into MGO 3 because everything is fucking boring. You play a few matches against some pimple faced Mexican cocksuckers and Italian finooks who rage quit every minute thus making you lose stats you progressed in.

You set up a new server but the fucking WiFi keeps dying so the game once again crashes and you lose even more stats.

You rage and yell and throw shit around because your estrogen is high from TRT.

It’s midnight and you just wanna grab someone, hang him on a tree, violate his girlfriend and flee the authorities on a boat.

You don’t. It’s midnight. Everything is boring.

You contemplate sending a DM to an ex-hoe so she can drain your mammoth balls. Don’t. Not worth it.

Boring. Boring. Boring.

I want a civil war and a sloppy tear filled blowjob. Now.

Wicked Instagram Tits

I have broken my writing hiatus to discuss an important topic. Tits. On Instagram. Of the kind that is attached to problematic girls you want to dig out.

You know the type of tits I am talking about. It’s not about the size of the milk transporter.. but the attitude. The “ohicantwaittobeexposeddaily somanymenwilljerktheircocktomeat2am” tits.

The “I hate my dad that never raised me right” tits.

The “I enjoy teasing and manipulating men more than I do getting actually fucked” tits.

Would be lovely if women could actually exist without whoring themselves online for attention and cum drops. So much for independent bad bitches.

There’s only three options when you encounter these tits.

  1. You try to ignore the tits, do your best to not be desperate and hopefully fuck some moral value into her once.
  2. Spam her with likes, orbit her, and have zero respect for yourself as you endlessly climax to her cleavage.
  3. Unfollow and ignore lol.

Option three is optimal but cmon.. a mans gotta eat. Or at least try.

There’s no real point or lesson to this other than bitches ain’t shit and in a perfect world we’d all be making bank and wearing Rolexes instead of chasing dumb e-hoes and being constantly erect.

She’s not trying to fuck or even have a nice convo. She’s a dopamine hunting pussydemon with a hollowed soul. Beware.

Take away the digital platforms and ability to get free drinks and they would die. Literally. Via hanging.

It’s not all bad though. They’re very entertaining. Always fun to mock. Maybe troll. If you smashed, even better. Just don’t wife.. don’t be a fag like John Legend.

This is the only type of content I could churn out right now. Feels shallow and cliché to discuss wymen but why not? It’s topical.

Men, avoid dead eyed attention seeking meatflaps. Find a girl that likes nature. But not TOO much nature.. because they just give head to hikers in the woods.

Go buy a cigar. I’m outtie.

Lana Del Rey

The ultimate role model for your run-of-the-mill hoe masquerading as an intelligent bad bitch while living a double life as an ice cream demolishing SSRI abusing semen powered machine.

When Lana said her pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola ® it was a true paradigm shift. She hit a massive spike DDT on our collective generation.

The sheer bravery of this groundbreaking statement, good God.

With her sultry voice and imaginary daddy that sells her coke, nothing was the same. She is responsible for girls giving top notch head worldwide although she probably slurps penile tissue mildly nowadays because she’s already famous and doesn’t need to seduce agents.

I actually like LDR songs because I’m a melancholy man-whore (in theory).

Although in 2021, she needs to go on Keto.. fuck it, I’d still hit.

Why is it that pretty art whores use Lana as a roaring symbol of female excellence while their tight punani is getting invaded on the lowkey by bearded RW bodybuilders?

In the current landscape of sexual dynamics, there is nothing more relatable than a sad used up pretty girl with dead eyes and unfulfilled potential who allegedly lives her best life but yearns for more. Fame can’t replace all the dick that broke your heart and your shitty dad. That’s my perspective which is the only true way to look at it. Shut up and post a seductive selfie that will make me aroused and ruin my day.

She’s an infinitely more rich version of depressed 19 year old white bitches from the Burbs.

God bless Lana Del Rey. Even though she worships Satan and whatever.

Kitten Ballad

As heavy smoking wrecks havoc on my lungs, I reminisce on the potential lovers I pissed off and pissed on before I gave them the chance to wrap their pretty pink lips around my somewhat thick drum stick.

For I am God’s gift to women, the man who can do no wrong while spiraling out of control in a whirlwind of chaos and tits.

While I legitimately enjoy the prospect of no holds barred sex with the whores of Instagram, my biggest turn on is a nice and wholesome brunette who cooks me breakfast and loves me. Shocking isn’t it? I am aware.

I’m so bloody young and I’m already yearning for love. Fucking disgraceful. Where did it go wrong? Too much TV.

My biological imperative guides me to ejaculate and evacuate but even if I do that, why can’t I have both worlds?

When will the Lord give me a sexually depraved jezabel with a hint of elegance who will die for me and is mentally ill but also a good partner lacking toxic traits? Yeah, I know. Stupid.

A man can dream. Even if he does not sleep. Ever.

Good Morning

It’s a good day to be alive. It’s yet another step in our global path to Armageddon.

The sun is shining, birds are chirping, my head and testicles are equally in pain and both sport throbbing veins.

You wake up, down some painkillers and sext a barley legal e-girl.

She calls you daddy while her dad spents countless hours tearing up every night because she’s a fucking whore.

You eat some cottage, your gut becomes inflamed and you wanna throw up. You don’t but it hurts so you smoke a gas station cigar. The Cuban one is too pricey to waste right now.

The cheap tobacco clogs your lungs slowly but surly and the horrid taste distracts you from the never-ending pain of 2020.

You post seductive muscle pics to IG and troll some stuck up communist sluts with loose pussies. It’s very fun.

You bully your little brothers because you are bored due to government not letting you leave home because the plan is to kill the spirit of the already broken youth.

Maybe you watch Netflix while daydreaming about the Golden Days of the Mafia.

You go to bed. Can’t sleep.

Rinse and repeat.

Good morning. Fuck you.