finance

OnlyFans Hoe With V.D. That Holds Cat Hostage

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Well, you know the site isn’t getting views this month if I talk about women. Not that I get paid at all so IDK why I care. Okay, so bitches..

Ahem.. Bitches.

What’s the deal with these new age OF slooties? You know.

The TOP 0.0000000069% in the bio.

The obsession with Florida rental housing.

The unspecified V.D. on their pitch black poontang.

It really bothers me, man. This whole OF shit. Not because I’m a prude. Women are doomed and zogged anyway. I mean, whatever happened to free spirit bitches who Snapchat you their pussy for FUN? And lust? And as a way to upset their father? THE GOOD OL DAYS.

Now its just buy me a Starbucks xoxo

I got 1000 bodies xoxo

I have five cats and can’t marry xoxo

Also even worse are the cunts that promise nudes but only do hand bra pics.

I can find that on IG for a free wankie thank you very much.

BAIT AND SWITCH!

Let’s discuss this economy.

Fucking disgrace. Maybe a fiat currency collapse is indeed imminent.

I wish I died in a nuclear war whilst in the middle of getting sloppy jallopy head from a busty redhead or a punk rock scene girl with medium pierced tits and a huge clapping ass.

I hate the US government.

Instagram is very gay (happy).

My balls hurt.

The point is society is declining so all we can aspire to do is sext sex workers and bait free nudes from them and get money.

Honestly, is there even money in this e-hookering? Like real money?

They all seem broke anyway always talking about buy my dinner and shit.

Financial freedom my swollen nut.

I remember when sluts just went to the local party, got xanned out and gangbanged by the football team, had their Polaroids passed around and carried on with their life. Like Your Mom.

With that being said, much respect to OF slags that stay sane and nice despite their soul sucking adventures. The true top 1% after Rockefeller bloodlines.

I will now NOT JERK OFF BECAUSE I HAVE SCRIPTS TO WRITE.

Get Rich Kwik

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We live in a sOcIeTY.. where there is an insane amount of money to be made at any given minute

Sadly, no one really knows how to get said scharole easily (without being a massive grifting jackoff)

The promising potential of crypto bubbles for example, no one can tell if their coin of the month is the golden ticket to riches until they get the deposit in the bank

Or alternatively lose all their cash and kill themselves

You catching my drift aren’t ya?

We all wanna be big dick swinging ballers making hella coin and clocking hoes daily

But it ain’t ez, just like pimpin’

Maybe selling courses and lying about your qualifications on Twitter while living abroad is the answer instead of investments and hard work?

Or going to a sleazy stock broker to scam me because I don’t do research?

How about a side hustle that gives me zero cash while I fool myself into believing it is worth it as I go fucking broke?

No, no..

Becoming an OnlyFans digital agent/promoter?

Maybe.. I like tits

Goddammit! How the fuck can I (legally) make money so I don’t have to be enslaved by the government during the upcoming 4th Reich?

Oh the struggle of our little lives

I just wanna make it out the hood

I mean, it’s a nice hood. Pretty safe. Lot of criminals living in harmony.. We don’t bother our own

Wu-Tang really had it correct

C.R.E.A.M.

CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME

DOLLA DOLLA BILLS YAAAALL

Pseudo-Rich Life

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It’s 8 PM.

I’m bored and wanna go out. I anxiously approach the closet to pick out fashionable attires and open it, a gay midget jumps at me and claws my face!

I punch his tiny dick and kick him out a window. It’s a 7 story fall. I proceed and carefully pick out a fashionable attire since I am going out for some fine dining.

I put on a polo shirt, Clarks shoes and blue jeans.

Me and my homie roll out to the restaurant owned by a lame B-list TV chef. His food is good.

On the way there, I see a weesh nerd with low muscle mass and a mask.

I yell homophobic insults towards him and bully him. He flips me off timidly and runs away. We laugh.

Pull up to the spot.

Eat fine ass lamb fillets.

Smoke Cuban cigars.

Done and done. We major.

We leave at 1 AM and tip the waiter decently. He is happy.

Now it’s the AM, time to harass hot women online and ignore horny girls in the DM until they send me nudes. Can’t sleep. Still hungry.

Dean Martin time.

Got blocked twice but there’s an alluring Russian. Hm.

Wicked Instagram Tits

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I have broken my writing hiatus to discuss an important topic. Tits. On Instagram. Of the kind that is attached to problematic girls you want to dig out.

You know the type of tits I am talking about. It’s not about the size of the milk transporter.. but the attitude. The “ohicantwaittobeexposeddaily somanymenwilljerktheircocktomeat2am” tits.

The “I hate my dad that never raised me right” tits.

The “I enjoy teasing and manipulating men more than I do getting actually fucked” tits.

Would be lovely if women could actually exist without whoring themselves online for attention and cum drops. So much for independent bad bitches.

There’s only three options when you encounter these tits.

  1. You try to ignore the tits, do your best to not be desperate and hopefully fuck some moral value into her once.
  2. Spam her with likes, orbit her, and have zero respect for yourself as you endlessly climax to her cleavage.
  3. Unfollow and ignore lol.

Option three is optimal but cmon.. a mans gotta eat. Or at least try.

There’s no real point or lesson to this other than bitches ain’t shit and in a perfect world we’d all be making bank and wearing Rolexes instead of chasing dumb e-hoes and being constantly erect.

She’s not trying to fuck or even have a nice convo. She’s a dopamine hunting pussydemon with a hollowed soul. Beware.

Take away the digital platforms and ability to get free drinks and they would die. Literally. Via hanging.

It’s not all bad though. They’re very entertaining. Always fun to mock. Maybe troll. If you smashed, even better. Just don’t wife.. don’t be a fag like John Legend.

This is the only type of content I could churn out right now. Feels shallow and cliché to discuss wymen but why not? It’s topical.

Men, avoid dead eyed attention seeking meatflaps. Find a girl that likes nature. But not TOO much nature.. because they just give head to hikers in the woods.

Go buy a cigar. I’m outtie.