Life

Did You Know There’s A New Year™ In Planet Earth®?

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Happy belated New Year you delightful fucks. How are you all doing?

You motivated to succeed until February pulls up on yo ass like an undercover cop car? You heartbroken again due to beautiful belligerent bitches? You making a lot of money at the expense of your humanity?

Whatever it may be, I understand ya.

The New Year is always an exciting time for many.

It’s all glammer and it feels like you just escaped the slammer of Previous Year.

You’re a free man/woman/toad.

There’s no calendar days attached to trauma and depression! You can start FRESH! Although the lingering rectal sting sensation from previous life fuck ups remains forever, the optimism is plentiful.

This isn’t a depressing post. It’s a motivate-you-to-rawdog-every-year-until-you-die post.

New Year is just a psyop. Time is possibly not even a real thing. But humans are symbolic and the idea of new™ lets us cope and ignore our blatant PTSD from living in the lamest era of humanity.

So my point is this:

Let’s go get this fucking bread

Let’s continue to do silly shit

Let’s lift weights and not get heart attacks like certain people randomly do now

Let’s just have fun because we all will die soon enough

To all the homies that remained in my life trying to make it, big love.

To all my sexy weirdo ladies, padre loves you too and I know you’re just confused. It’s never personal.

2023 is here and we STILL won’t rest and FOREVER will not sleep.

Cigars, Jews and DMT?

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Folks, let me tell you about a little amusing story that fails to escape my mind no matter how hard I try to ignore its odd existence.

It all started one really fucking tiring day.

I was fresh out of a lousy commie piece of shit academic setting, they may or may have not just banned me from entering the place for not having a negative Fovid-19 test. Jerkoffs.

In my anger/despair/thirst/rebellion/boredom I hunted for a taxi to take me to some far away magical place called a cigar lounge. Where one can booze, meet oddballs and rich dudes and smoke fine Dominican leaf.

I spent the next seven hours nursing a glass or more than a glass of whiskey. Probably Jackie D.. and then just slumped over my laptop and puffed on my stick on and off. Not the fancy smoker experience that day but ah whatever.

Anyway throughout the next few hours l done seen a lot of weird folk come through.

The usual suspects were around.. you know, porn addicted grey haired lawyers who blast softcore shit on the TV. The teens with daddys money. The pretty girl there for beer. The usual.

Here’s what really tripped my balls though. And the weird reason I remembered that evening.

Around 9 PM as I’m utterly pooped and wrecked, a trio approached my large table. I sat at the head of the table ala Roman Reigns and the rest of it was empty so they were about to ask my permission to sit naturally because I’m a stud. Maybe.

It was two dorks, possibly orthodox Jews or sons of a rabbi. American. Foreign. Odd slightly East Coast accent. And a really foxy lady with Hazel hair and nice eyes that I barley saw because it’s dark. Soft voice, good bod? I lowkey remember wanting to pork her over the table but who could even do anything I’m about to faint from my lack of sleep the prior night.

The sexy ass LARP semi-trad chick got my approval to sit down and I spent the next hour listening to her talk with the goobers while they smoked cigars and told bonfire stories.

To my bewilderment, one of the nerds described his near death experience with DMT in a Latin American forest or something after he experimented due to the death of his father and blah blah.

I know it’s nothing that crazy but since when are Jews into this shit?

Maybe Bushwick liberal Jews sure but kippa wearing motherfuckers?

Huh.

And why did they have such a cutie with them? She wasn’t that covered up.

She’s hot.

I’d fuck her totally.

I never tried DMT but I did do androgens, a lot of weed, painkillers, sleeping pills.. I somehow felt outdone in drugs.

After eavesdropping on Jeremiah and Moses ovah here, they finally left as the convo went mundane.

I dragged my carcass into a taxi and drove home.

I saw a bunch of other shit that night I think but I lost the notepad I wrote these events on. I promised I would post this.

I don’t know if I got some nudes from a Russian girl that night or the next day.

I love getting random nudes from a girl that uses you to fulfill her sexual needs but lowkey despises you because she fears you.

I want some love.

I’m at home smoking a cigar right now. Trying hard not to send my uber thick dong to some blonde I went to school with or girls with a nose ring. Yum.

Peace out.

New Year Paradigm Shift

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Yo G

Happy new year

It’s a new year but it’s lowkey the same shit

Same old painful liver inflammation and mammoth shits

Same old hoes lying and trifling and then saying you broke their heart

Same old bank balance

BUT..

You just survived the year of the devil and didn’t cave to the fascist government bullshit

There’s a different energy in the air, something is different.. whoa

You invested in crypto and you making monetary moves

You’re learning and educating yourself so you be the wise chief your tribe needs

You’re GONNA MAKE IT!

It’s a matter of time so you just need to remain consistent

Don’t plug into the oblivion of modern day society

Let the Karens and the soys and the masked cum guzzlers rot in their acidic metropolitan pools of piss while you prosper

Worst case scenario you died staying true to your ideals

Get Rich or Die Trying

There’s a hero waiting to erupt somewhere

FUCK

Happy New Years

Let’s live

Dirty deeds time

Thirst Diaries

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It was another gloomy fucking morning where I accidentally (seriously, I promise) found your old voice recordings. With that innocent sexy voice of yours that would cause a celibate and chaste monk to spunk instantly.

And I listened and I laughed and maybe even began redirecting blood flow to my nether region unintentionally.

And I smiled.

Thinking about how we could have been such an absolutely fucking dynamite couple.

We could have had a lovely garden together..

Some cute dogs!

A shared metal playlist.

And daily no holds barred fuckfests that involve me giving you multiple edged orgasms and putting you in a choker customized to my liking.

Babygirl you really missed out..

If I could bottle up my lust for you I’d sell it as a high end aphrodisiac on premium market auctions like the Wu-Tang did.

You annoying twat, shame.

Stop showing your delicious tits on IG too.

Don’t stop actually.

I fucking miss you so bad.

…
..
.

SIKEEEEE!

Bitch, tomorrow is a new day.

I don’t love these hoes, no matter how cute!

Skrrt!

DOOT DOOOOT DOOT!

What U Up To?

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Satan pulled up on yo boi and stared him in the eye

I thought I would die but he simply said..

What you up to?

Ignoring the girls that maybe like you?

Spending too much money, that’s not like you

While you think about the girl with blue hair, yeah that’s what I do

Trolling around with blondie thots on Snapchat? Man..
fuck you

You gotta get an education that’s what you should do

Before big government comes around and drops you

Don’t buy the Rollie, you a fool

Money and investments are a tool, but you never learned that at school so

It’s almost 2 am, go to sleep dawg it’s over

Oh I forgot, it’s Mr. Insomnia forever

Oh he thinks he clever

Whatever..

Lucifer vanished after dropping some bars

I went back to “bed” to “sleep”

Rinse, lather, repeat

And the beat goes on

Get Rich Kwik

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We live in a sOcIeTY.. where there is an insane amount of money to be made at any given minute

Sadly, no one really knows how to get said scharole easily (without being a massive grifting jackoff)

The promising potential of crypto bubbles for example, no one can tell if their coin of the month is the golden ticket to riches until they get the deposit in the bank

Or alternatively lose all their cash and kill themselves

You catching my drift aren’t ya?

We all wanna be big dick swinging ballers making hella coin and clocking hoes daily

But it ain’t ez, just like pimpin’

Maybe selling courses and lying about your qualifications on Twitter while living abroad is the answer instead of investments and hard work?

Or going to a sleazy stock broker to scam me because I don’t do research?

How about a side hustle that gives me zero cash while I fool myself into believing it is worth it as I go fucking broke?

No, no..

Becoming an OnlyFans digital agent/promoter?

Maybe.. I like tits

Goddammit! How the fuck can I (legally) make money so I don’t have to be enslaved by the government during the upcoming 4th Reich?

Oh the struggle of our little lives

I just wanna make it out the hood

I mean, it’s a nice hood. Pretty safe. Lot of criminals living in harmony.. We don’t bother our own

Wu-Tang really had it correct

C.R.E.A.M.

CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME

DOLLA DOLLA BILLS YAAAALL

The Tudy Chronicles

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“As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster”

-Henry Hill

Who doesn’t want to be a gangster? Think about it for a minute.

You got steady access to top notch cigars, your friends are all ball breaking tough guys, you rob and cheat people out of their money and you get fly bitches despite being fat.

Fugget about it!

In this day and age when the governments cheat and whack us all daily.. who doesn’t want to give it a shot themselves? They can’t have all the fun!

Imagine yourself as a 6’0 wiseguy in floral shirts or a snappy blazer. You walk down Mulberry street with your head held high on your way to shake down innocent ethnics. You lay a few beatings and pay off some witnesses with a few bucks. So much fun.

You’re feared and beloved by misguided youths. They carry your moms bags out of respect. Lovely.

You run a harem of goomars while you have a wife and son at home. Beautiful.

Sure, you have to whack some good people along the way. Some friends you love. Lot of blood on those hands.. Oof madone, but you made an oath. Family first. And it pays. You’re a good soldier. Capo soon, God willing.

I mean, yeah.. Eventually you get pinched. Do time upstate. Lose it all. Probably because some ratfuck sang about you. The same man you invited over to dinner weekly. He hugged your kids.. No big deal.

You get out. Earn again. Rebuild. Wife gone. Kids messed up on the junk.

But there’s always a promotion around the corner. Hoes still sucking you. You’re a legendary hitman. No worries. Life is tight.

If you’re lucky, you reach 55. You’re an old fuck now. That promotion to underboss never came. You’re in a rot. Feds still gunning for your ass. It’s a new world. RICO is a motherfucker.

You become an old timer and an afterthought. No earning for the family, a burden. Hookers and skifooza floozies are your hobby and only skill.

You die of cancer and on your deathbed realize you had it all. The woman you loved is gone and you were better off going legit. Your kids will suffer from your mistakes.

Being a gangster is good.

Was it worth it?

The action, violence, pussy, the cash, the clout, the fear? Being the fucking man?

Would you do it over again?

Hell fucking yeah.

Pseudo-Rich Life

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It’s 8 PM.

I’m bored and wanna go out. I anxiously approach the closet to pick out fashionable attires and open it, a gay midget jumps at me and claws my face!

I punch his tiny dick and kick him out a window. It’s a 7 story fall. I proceed and carefully pick out a fashionable attire since I am going out for some fine dining.

I put on a polo shirt, Clarks shoes and blue jeans.

Me and my homie roll out to the restaurant owned by a lame B-list TV chef. His food is good.

On the way there, I see a weesh nerd with low muscle mass and a mask.

I yell homophobic insults towards him and bully him. He flips me off timidly and runs away. We laugh.

Pull up to the spot.

Eat fine ass lamb fillets.

Smoke Cuban cigars.

Done and done. We major.

We leave at 1 AM and tip the waiter decently. He is happy.

Now it’s the AM, time to harass hot women online and ignore horny girls in the DM until they send me nudes. Can’t sleep. Still hungry.

Dean Martin time.

Got blocked twice but there’s an alluring Russian. Hm.

Foreign Digital Pussy

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I hold a strong dislike for the majority of females in my country. I find them to be highly unpleasant and uneducated, with a sizeable ego and zero manners. Their aesthetic amount to feces. Nothing good.

In other words, they’re shallow fucking cunts who look like tanned balls. Most of them.

The “men” are even worse, don’t worry.

That’s why I always had a penchant to fantasize, fuck and sext exotic pussy from other continents. As broken as they might be, it’s better than home.

So much more reliable, submissive and pretty than the locals. The masculinity crisis of the west has made it easier for big trap cigar smoking studs to engage in LDR and secure foreign fuck toys for the future (present, if vacationing).

I love the fact that a chick with big tits on the other side of the world is playing with herself to my pictures and dreaming about fucking me. She might get to do it for real if I like her.

Literally had them call me a god.. small G. No blasphemy here. And I ain’t talking third world. I’m talking Canada and America and England.. which is foreign to me. Sigh.

Now there are decent dimes in the local economy, but it pales in comparison to the dollar. Ya dig?

Maybe if we had more artistic blue hair goths or BDSM loving Aryan blondes. A spicy brunette here and there.

It’s by no means me advocating to never touch a local, but if I do it makes me feel dead inside.

I’ll keep hustling though, ain’t no quitta bitch.

Wicked Instagram Tits

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I have broken my writing hiatus to discuss an important topic. Tits. On Instagram. Of the kind that is attached to problematic girls you want to dig out.

You know the type of tits I am talking about. It’s not about the size of the milk transporter.. but the attitude. The “ohicantwaittobeexposeddaily somanymenwilljerktheircocktomeat2am” tits.

The “I hate my dad that never raised me right” tits.

The “I enjoy teasing and manipulating men more than I do getting actually fucked” tits.

Would be lovely if women could actually exist without whoring themselves online for attention and cum drops. So much for independent bad bitches.

There’s only three options when you encounter these tits.

  1. You try to ignore the tits, do your best to not be desperate and hopefully fuck some moral value into her once.
  2. Spam her with likes, orbit her, and have zero respect for yourself as you endlessly climax to her cleavage.
  3. Unfollow and ignore lol.

Option three is optimal but cmon.. a mans gotta eat. Or at least try.

There’s no real point or lesson to this other than bitches ain’t shit and in a perfect world we’d all be making bank and wearing Rolexes instead of chasing dumb e-hoes and being constantly erect.

She’s not trying to fuck or even have a nice convo. She’s a dopamine hunting pussydemon with a hollowed soul. Beware.

Take away the digital platforms and ability to get free drinks and they would die. Literally. Via hanging.

It’s not all bad though. They’re very entertaining. Always fun to mock. Maybe troll. If you smashed, even better. Just don’t wife.. don’t be a fag like John Legend.

This is the only type of content I could churn out right now. Feels shallow and cliché to discuss wymen but why not? It’s topical.

Men, avoid dead eyed attention seeking meatflaps. Find a girl that likes nature. But not TOO much nature.. because they just give head to hikers in the woods.

Go buy a cigar. I’m outtie.