Advice

Regrets

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Regrets suck. I try my best to never live with any of them but I’d be lying if I said it’s truly the case.

We all have some regrets. Some people will regret eating that pizza that caused them to vomit all over their anime body pillow, some regret blowing the one shot they had with their crush, some regret never telling their family how much they love them while they’re still around to hear.

Like I said, we all have regrets. I think most people try to hard too ignore them. They bury their regrets deep and thus they never truly cope with it.

How do you deal with it?

You don’t, they will always be buried in your subconscious unless you start smoking copious amounts of DMT..

You just gotta suck it up, live your life to the best of your ability and keep moving.

Embrace the fact you fucked up and you suck and keep improving until you make up for that one failure that haunts you.

That’s Life © and you can’t deny it.

Sinple really! But not really.

There’s no other way.

Alright, peace out.

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING NEW YEAR.. ugh. ❤

Bulls, Balls, Perspective

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An old bull and a young bull are on a hillside overlooking the herd below.

The young bull says, “Lets you and I run down this hill and fuck one of them cows.”

Old bull responded, “Lets walk down and fuck them all.”

Besides being an incredibly colorful and somewhat amusing tale, what’s the point of that anecdote?

It demonstrates mentality and perspective.

The bull that’s young, dumb and full of rum thinks with his dong and is looking for a quick release. He wants to bolt down there with the old homie and bang some cow coochie for a minute before blowing his load.

Old bull has been around the block and knows better. He knows there is no reason to rush those udders. He walks in his own pace because he knows patience is a virtue and by the time he warms up slowly walking down the hill, he would be in the best position to fuck whichever cow hoe he wants.

So now that I made the story even more obvious..

What can you learn from this post?

As the grizzled wrestling vets say..

SLOW. DOWN. YOU. ARE. WORKING. TOO. FAST.

No need to rush those dates or real estate deals or worry about not having 100k at the age of 20.

You can’t dash through life like The Flash and search for the easiest fix just because it’s there. You gotta take it SLOW, be clever and position yourself intelligently on the chess board of life.

I think that makes sense, yeah..

Take your fucking time and do things in a responsible and smart manner. By the time you finish your walk through life, you will be able to fuck any cow you want.

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT ENCOURAGE FORNICATION WITH COWS. MOO.

No Fugazis

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The word of the day is authenticity.

Does anyone know what authenticity is nowadays in (current year)?

When I look around all I see are fake people living a gimmick, no different than the Iron Sheik and Sgt. Slaughter playing dress up in MSG.

We got people putting out fronts and acting a fool to impress other people on social media who don’t give a shit about them.

We tolerate people who we know damn well only like us for clout and attention and do nothing about it because we need the same clout and attention.

We have people who are scared to voice their opinions because they fear being ostracized.

We talk a lot about how we need to be more diverse and accepting as a society and how being different is amazeballs, but those same people are the ones who judge and shame anyone with a different non-conformist world view.

FUCK. THAT.

There is nothing more important in this world than you being yourself and staying true to your soul. And I mean truly being yourself, as in who you want to be as a human. Who you aspire to become. Who you are when no one is around. The real you that hides under that shell. Don’t let the news tell you what to think or do. Don’t let family and friends dictate your behavior. Don’t fall for groupthink bullshit. YOU DO YOU, KINGS AND QUEENS.

The world is full of douchebag satanic robots, don’t be another one of them.

If you a playboy at heart, be a fuckin playboy.

If you a traditional housewife and like that, do it.

If you a drug loving anti-establishment weirdo rebel, do as you please.

If you are a woman that loves to fuck, don’t hide it and pretend like you are a nun.. just embrace it and have fun.

If you are a gamer, rise the fuck up my dude and go enjoy some Metal Gear Solid.

DON’T LET ANYONE DICTATE YOUR UNIQUE CHARACTER.

You will NOT restrict your language, you will NOT let the judgment of the miserable get to you.

It’s better to be in a fortress of solitude than to be in the company of controlling cunts who think the script of life is for them to write.

Be open to critique and change, but you are a beautiful creature in the making.

Flourish on your own terms my friends.

Don’t be fugazi.

End rant.

Energy Sucking Vampires From Planet Tofu

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Have you ever spent time with a person you really like but notice that every time you come home after hanging out with that jabroni, you feel like a doctor just told you have prostate cancer?

Just being in their presence zapped your joy. Hearing them talk is like reading an obituary. So much melodrama and toxicity.

Be careful! You might be in the presence of an ENERGY SUCKING VAMPIRE.

The energy sucking vampire (ESV © for short) is a miserable person cosplaying as your friend or lover but their true purpose is to feed on your positive emotions and fill you up with darkness and sadness. An ESV © is naturally an unhappy son of a bitch and will drag you down to his level at all costs. He is a real pisser.

Some of them do this consciously, some don’t even realize they do it but can’t help it. The danger is there nonetheless.

If you suspect you are in contact with an ESV, call your doctor and RUN THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE EVIL CREATURE.

Life is too short to be corrupted by some nasty bitter fucks.

Now I’m not saying we can’t bitch here and there, shit gets fucked up and you need to vent.. I know that, but when you are dealing with someone who is consistently moody and cunty and is always messing up your vibes,that’s a no-no.

Find yourself someone who wants you to rise up and succeed along with them, not someone who wants to weep all day.

DON’T LET THE BI-POLAR CHICKS WHO GIVE GOOD HEAD BUT STIR UP SHIT AND CAUSE DRAMA RUIN YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL.

DON’T LET THAT HOMIE RUIN YOUR MOTIVATION AND TELL YOU AIN’T GONNA MAKE IT.

GET YOURSELF AN ASPIRING KING.

GET YOURSELF AN UPLIFTING QUEEN.

Signed, a formerly miserab cunt.

Change is coming.

The Benefits of Fucking Up

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Messing shit up is never a pleasant experience. Whether it’s something minor like accidentally sending porn to your aunt or something more serious like destroying a great relationship and losing a dream job, mistakes ALWAYS suck.

But that’s a part of life. Always was, always will be. You gotta learn how to handle mistakes. Your stupid ass will inevitably make them.

Making mistakes is actually a good thing. Without error, there is no progress. That’s why I always bounce back quickly whenever I screw up (which happens a lot). I analyze whatever stupid shit I did and try to make sure I don’t ever do that again. Although, most of times my dumbass tends to repeat the same errors.. WHICH IS JUST FINE!

Eventually we will all learn our lessons. That’s the point. I’m actually pleased every time I screw the pooch because I gain more insights and as a result improve as a man. The shit we eat now will eventually become sweet creamy chocolate. Yum.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.

I ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO FUCK UP UNTIL THE COWS COME HOME! APPROACH A HOTTIE AND GET REJECTED, TRY TO BENCH 500 LBS AND DROP THE BAR.. CRASH AND BURN, BABY! THAT’S HOW YOU GROW!

Guarantee something positive will come out of it because you will know better come next time. You better.

Disclaimer: Don’t anything TOO stupid on purpose, yeah? But put yourself out there. Life will reward ya.