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How To Eat Shit And Love It

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“Life, I wonder… will it take me under?” -Nas

Living is never easy, let alone in these soy-soaked modern times. Too many people wearing Groot shirts, too many rockets killing people, way too many taxes.

But what can we do to cope with the hardships of existence? We can’t distract ourselves by raiding villages and butchering anymore, we need new systems.

I guess the first step would be to understand why humans suffer in the first place.

If you’re religious (smart), you can blame it on trials from God or abuse from Satan.

If you’re atheist (boo), the universe is indifferent, and the anal pegging is coincidence.

Either way, the why doesn’t really matter. Maybe you’re to blame, maybe you’re a sweetheart just dealt a bad hand… FUCKING. ACCEPT. IT.

Iconic naked Greek philosophers couldn’t figure out why humans experience all this shit, so your dumbass won’t.

Now that we can cope with our ignorance of the cosmic ways, we can focus on healing

How do you start enjoying the taste of S H I T and move on from the L?

STEP NUMBER 1:

TINY WINS.

No life is 100% dookie, there is always a small moment in time where you get that champ vibe back. Even if you immediately start having horrible stuff happen to you two days later, those tiny wins make a super difference in recovering your aura. Go after some goals, exercise and keep pushing. Generic? Maybe. Effective? Always, bitch. Think about things you have been wanting to do for a long time and couldn’t or wouldn’t and go fucking do them.
Make some money, fuck that hot girl, break up with your girlfriend, rob a bank, design a bad video game… Do whatever it is that you have on your goal list and do it well. Step by step. You will feel gooood.

SMALL NOTE: I hate how modern fruity TikTok freaks ruined the word aura.

STEP NUMBER 2:

INTROSPECTION OF SELF.

Take some time and try to really see why evil keeps striking you. As I hinted at earlier, maybe some of this stuff is unavoidable because XY but maybeeeeeeeeeeeee you really aren’t doing yourself favors. We all have our demons, it’s okay. Lord knows I do..

Try eliminating negative patterns that you see potentially leading into the type of things you complain are ruining your life. This is probably the toughest part.

And last but not least…

STEP NUMBER 3:

JUST-KEEP-MOVING -YOU-FUCKHEAD-FUCK-YOU-JUST-KEEP-MOVING.

Dude, there’s not really much more to do. There’s only two honest steps. I am not a fucking guru. Fuck your 500 words clickbait. I talk down to earth, The only way to stop the shit is to shower in the shit. And shit don’t change until you wipe your ass.

Okay, that’s ittttt.

Hope this helped you out.

My shoulders hurt, my dick is hard. Good luck to all reading. Hope you enjoyed my advice that will benefit all the two struggling genders.

Bye!!!!

Mad Men: The Don Question

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Don fucking Draper

Depending on who you ask, this fictional iron jaw man is either the greatest inspirational character in TV history or the biggest scumbag to ever disgrace the screen..

I’m trying to understand why he is beloved/hated

And I’m trying to do it in a very simple and hopefully not douchebag-from-YouTube-essay way

Let’s roll

Why is Don so LOVED?

Don is the American Dream come true

A piece of shit loser raised in a whorehouse that faked an entirely new identity and somehow managed to become a rich superstar in the advertising industry against all the shitty odds given to him by God

Lot of people connect with that, they say in America anyone can make it

In the fictional world of 50s NYC, Draper proved it true and a lot of aspiring princes look up to him as a model hustler

He is also (on surface) the masculine ideal

Well dressed, bountiful in social status, financially successful, great at fucking hoes

What’s not to like?

Every man with working testicles will admit that he wants all those things

In the modern canola world where people look up to characters and gurus online to inspire them, Donny D is a solid starter pack character

Some deep introspective souls might connect with him for entirely different reasons

Maybe because the real charm in Draper is how big of a fuck up he is in his personal life and the relatable mirror he holds against the life of the modern male

On paper Don has it all, but as we go through more and more seasons in the show we see how broken this dickhead really is

Can fuck every girl but can’t hold a relationship, drinks himself to death, lonely despite his many “friends”, shitty father, shitty brother, shitty business partner

He fucks up everything he touches (in his personal life) but on the outside he acts like king of the hill, there’s nothing wrong with him and he’s a genius

That’s what many men feel is expected of them, pretend you have the biggest cock while you cry in the bathroom five minutes after

If you’re not XY, fucking die

So everyone puts on an eminence front and plays the game like Don

Very commonplace and makes him our representative of the broken studs

Why is Don HATED?

Mainly I see this by female viewers and gays buuut it’s not that unjustified

Don is a SCUMBAG, straight up

He’s a serial cheater, his ego is like a cancerous tumor, he steps on the feet of business partners when he feels slighted, he basically got his own brother sent to the pearly gates, his kid girl doesn’t respect him and his boy kid is a retard, he is ungrateful, he tans terribly and so on and so on

A lot of people it seems can’t find the grace and value in Don’s flaws and I guess it’s all perspective

To be honest, would you like working with Don?

Nah

He’s better to view from a distance

Like a butterface

If we had a Don in our personal lives, unless he gave us money and free booze we probably wouldn’t stand him

Just because Betty is a piece of shit it doesn’t mean we have to pretend Don is a saint

Although no one does? There’s this notion the show wants us to herald him even though it’s clear from the show title and storylines that this guy is no hero, just very successful and a survivor of his own vices

Don Draper is many things but definitely not forgettable

Okay, nothing more to add

Gonna drink some vitamins and feel annoyed about not having another million dollars and a blowjob

Thanks for clicking?

Heartbreak Kid and The B.S. Of Lust

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Recently, I have been evaluating some interactions I had with some beautiful ladies that have not gone my way. Some of these sultry vixens may even be reading this right now.. or maybe not, whose to say?

I came to some conclusions. I am gonna refer to various babes as a singular entity of jizz and lust. It dawned on me how much I hate it when this cute, luscious, buxom devilish female twirls my massive frame around her freshly painted fingernails, spinning me like a hamster and fucking with my head.

But apparently, I don’t hate it enough to stop engaging with her. I tell myself I don’t want to get involved then dream about slurping cola out of her vulva.

I think about rawdogging her till my shaft crumbles to dust every time she texts, giving me hope of a bite.

She probably thinks of fucking with me too, but pissing me off gets her wetter.

I get burned and take out my anger on the next girl that actually appreciates me. Allegedly. No more home-cooked pasta for me?

Continuing the cycle of toxic manipulation to build back my ego. Don’t want to get played and get made fun on Hoodville.

I wanna thrust at that one girl’s throat with the pelvic force of 1,000 suns until she goes into a coma but then also hug her in front of the shining voyeuristic moon that looms over our heads and build a home with her? Do I “love” her (whatever that means) or is she a sex fiend to pull out of my drawer? What’s the value? Where do we stand? No one knows. Just go with it. Treat her like the rest. But I do like her. I really like her. She’s sweet. But..

But like I said it’s not one girl, it’s so many that fit the bill. They all become one face in the end. So alike. Spooky really.

She’s just the most recent.

Behind every sexy scumbag is their equal in trashola that got them bent first. They probably experienced the same thing on the lady side of the spectrum. Everybody gets fucked then fucked over.

So reader, are you the jerk compensating for the pain or the current victim?

Happy Friday, protect your skin!

Haterade In The Modern Age

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Something that really gets on my ass and ruins my vibe heavy is when low vibrational soy consuming canola pushing fuckwads diss up and coming artists/athletes/scammers who are trying to chase a goal and bag up.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to become a role model for the misguided with hella cash?

I mean, it’s not me… I am broke. Allegedly. That being said.. uh..

I still have sympathy for anyone slaving away at their craft.

The guy that doxxes naked hoes and stacks e-com money spent years as a pencil pushing faggy wagie before he got slop and commissions.

The painter that spammed your feed with naked artsy portraits had to break his fingers first drawing Tanya.

That drug addicted musician got his ass tickled by Luciferian old men to publish your fav albums.

Fuck you.

You should be inspired by the creative idiots and Adderall-fueled mega hustlers because unlike you we do something.

Go buy your shitty tickets to Rome or Dubai so you can play it lit for one week you bitch.

Fucking jabroni.

Cool people who are honest with good vibes and a work ethic deserve the flex.

Bad bitches should honestly automatically give em the gap and dudes should pay whatever they ask.

Most of the population is trash and jello.

HATER.

Haters are spiritually castrated. No balls, no drive. You hate someone? Okay, do his gimmick better. Oh yeah you can’t huh? Suck a throbbing pulsating dick.

Shoutout to all the hustlers.

Although sometimes you guys suck and use very wack marketing, I don’t mind though.

It’s easy to hate behind the sofa with chips like those wannabe quarterbacks, talking about “we lost the game”.. “we”?

Dickhead.

I’m no special authority on this, I don’t have haters or massive fame. Just needles and a cute face. But it’s my site and I tell you all the correct way to think.

I will now await the DMs from the babes now.

I had to remind you all I have valuable opinions that are not about Da Fuckin’.

Fuckery, Discontent, Gratitude

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Well, it’s that time again

Life finally gave me enough shitty stimuli for me to write again

Life is swell

Money is slowly stacked

I got new window shades

I make roastbeef dishes that are absolutely delightful

All the stuff that makes up for my inability to take decent chunks of shit without burning up like a scorched Afghan corpse

Since everything is on the up, I’ve been thinking.. what’s the next move? What would make me happier?

I could juice up to 220 lbs maybe?

Get a new place?

Become a G Manifesto bootleg copy with suit swoops?

I don’t fucking know, I just don’t want to be content that much I’m certain

We men are never truly satisfied, when we’re satisfied we lose our flame, our mojo, OUR BALLS

Even when God sends morally questionable hot adult teens into my life which I always ask for.. I get excited and then it’s.. just another slice of life to handle…

Business plays and parlor tricks, yada yada.. routine bullshit

I say I wanna challenge myself in the career field, I find hardass clientele that busts balls.. I get it as ordered.. And it’s like.. a nuisance.. not even a trouble.. just something you wanna move past on a checklist

What if getting my custom-made Italian suit- wandering the high-end district-Met Gala- Egyptian silk sheet threesome fantasies will disappoint just as much?

Does anything material and physical in this life besides mortal combat ever make you whole?

Besides the worship of God, everything is futile

I feel like King Solomon

Everything is so dull

The medicine to such nihilism boils down to:

  1. Keep good company
  2. Meet interesting people, find muse and inspiration in your fans and critics alike
  3. Kiss beautiful women
  4. Thank God
  5. Thank GOD

Just keep the gratitude train rolling

Because somewhere is a one-nutted motherfucker that is praying nightly to have your life as is even if it’s subjectively SHIT

I will keep wearing decent to extravagant clothing, I will keep annoying hot girls that have world-class ass (hello if you’re reading this you sexy bitch ❤️), I will continue to maintain the Stones are better than the shitty Beatles, I will not eat bugs, I will stay hot and manifest good vibes, I WILL GET A GOOD NIGHT’S REST!

Hopefully, I will continue to have more subjects to write about soon and a nice sloppy blowjob to accompany the typing

The new WordPress editor is cancer

Xoxo,
Restless Stud

The Sins and Wins Of 2022 (Ranking)

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Hello fellow degenerates and thirsty women lurking my site!

Today we are going to name everything that is certified FRESH/LIT/HITS STRAIGHT ON THE CLIT and GOOD in 2022 and everything that’s WACK/SHITTIER THAN A HOMELESS MANS CRACK in 2022 and BAAAD.

Let’s begin!

GOOD

  1. Italian luxury wear.
  2. Cigars becoming accessible not just to rich cunts.
  3. Lockdowns ending (until the next fake wave)
  4. Photoshop skills becoming more prevelant in society.
  5. Facebook is officially cringe and an old man app.
  6. Brock Lesnar.
  7. Stocks are on the up and five years from now we rich.
  8. Cotton jackets.
  9. Kanye fighting the media.
  10. Me.

BAD

  1. We lose more and more freedom every day and society embraces fascism while calling real freedom fighters da re4l fascistz.
  2. Old pedos ruling the US government.
  3. Soy foods still exist.
  4. Marvel Phase 4 besides Spider-Man and Dr. Strange.
  5. Women becoming more soulless on social media.
  6. Men becoming softer and softer still.
  7. OF
  8. Breast reductions.
  9. Gas prices.
  10. I don’t have a Rolex yet/a new Iraq type war in Russia.

That’s it!

No explanation needed.

Go jerk off.

Cigars, Jews and DMT?

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Folks, let me tell you about a little amusing story that fails to escape my mind no matter how hard I try to ignore its odd existence.

It all started one really fucking tiring day.

I was fresh out of a lousy commie piece of shit academic setting, they may or may have not just banned me from entering the place for not having a negative Fovid-19 test. Jerkoffs.

In my anger/despair/thirst/rebellion/boredom I hunted for a taxi to take me to some far away magical place called a cigar lounge. Where one can booze, meet oddballs and rich dudes and smoke fine Dominican leaf.

I spent the next seven hours nursing a glass or more than a glass of whiskey. Probably Jackie D.. and then just slumped over my laptop and puffed on my stick on and off. Not the fancy smoker experience that day but ah whatever.

Anyway throughout the next few hours l done seen a lot of weird folk come through.

The usual suspects were around.. you know, porn addicted grey haired lawyers who blast softcore shit on the TV. The teens with daddys money. The pretty girl there for beer. The usual.

Here’s what really tripped my balls though. And the weird reason I remembered that evening.

Around 9 PM as I’m utterly pooped and wrecked, a trio approached my large table. I sat at the head of the table ala Roman Reigns and the rest of it was empty so they were about to ask my permission to sit naturally because I’m a stud. Maybe.

It was two dorks, possibly orthodox Jews or sons of a rabbi. American. Foreign. Odd slightly East Coast accent. And a really foxy lady with Hazel hair and nice eyes that I barley saw because it’s dark. Soft voice, good bod? I lowkey remember wanting to pork her over the table but who could even do anything I’m about to faint from my lack of sleep the prior night.

The sexy ass LARP semi-trad chick got my approval to sit down and I spent the next hour listening to her talk with the goobers while they smoked cigars and told bonfire stories.

To my bewilderment, one of the nerds described his near death experience with DMT in a Latin American forest or something after he experimented due to the death of his father and blah blah.

I know it’s nothing that crazy but since when are Jews into this shit?

Maybe Bushwick liberal Jews sure but kippa wearing motherfuckers?

Huh.

And why did they have such a cutie with them? She wasn’t that covered up.

She’s hot.

I’d fuck her totally.

I never tried DMT but I did do androgens, a lot of weed, painkillers, sleeping pills.. I somehow felt outdone in drugs.

After eavesdropping on Jeremiah and Moses ovah here, they finally left as the convo went mundane.

I dragged my carcass into a taxi and drove home.

I saw a bunch of other shit that night I think but I lost the notepad I wrote these events on. I promised I would post this.

I don’t know if I got some nudes from a Russian girl that night or the next day.

I love getting random nudes from a girl that uses you to fulfill her sexual needs but lowkey despises you because she fears you.

I want some love.

I’m at home smoking a cigar right now. Trying hard not to send my uber thick dong to some blonde I went to school with or girls with a nose ring. Yum.

Peace out.

Thirst Diaries

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It was another gloomy fucking morning where I accidentally (seriously, I promise) found your old voice recordings. With that innocent sexy voice of yours that would cause a celibate and chaste monk to spunk instantly.

And I listened and I laughed and maybe even began redirecting blood flow to my nether region unintentionally.

And I smiled.

Thinking about how we could have been such an absolutely fucking dynamite couple.

We could have had a lovely garden together..

Some cute dogs!

A shared metal playlist.

And daily no holds barred fuckfests that involve me giving you multiple edged orgasms and putting you in a choker customized to my liking.

Babygirl you really missed out..

If I could bottle up my lust for you I’d sell it as a high end aphrodisiac on premium market auctions like the Wu-Tang did.

You annoying twat, shame.

Stop showing your delicious tits on IG too.

Don’t stop actually.

I fucking miss you so bad.

…
..
.

SIKEEEEE!

Bitch, tomorrow is a new day.

I don’t love these hoes, no matter how cute!

Skrrt!

DOOT DOOOOT DOOT!

What U Up To?

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Satan pulled up on yo boi and stared him in the eye

I thought I would die but he simply said..

What you up to?

Ignoring the girls that maybe like you?

Spending too much money, that’s not like you

While you think about the girl with blue hair, yeah that’s what I do

Trolling around with blondie thots on Snapchat? Man..
fuck you

You gotta get an education that’s what you should do

Before big government comes around and drops you

Don’t buy the Rollie, you a fool

Money and investments are a tool, but you never learned that at school so

It’s almost 2 am, go to sleep dawg it’s over

Oh I forgot, it’s Mr. Insomnia forever

Oh he thinks he clever

Whatever..

Lucifer vanished after dropping some bars

I went back to “bed” to “sleep”

Rinse, lather, repeat

And the beat goes on

Where Is Da Luv

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Why do we place guidelines and rules on love?

Whatever happened to just going with the flow?

Baby, fuck your friends and what the group text say

Fuck society and television cuz it’s just you and me and I’m not buying you a fancy watch or a vacation ticket

I just want to break your back on the sofa, whisper lies into your ear and love you hard without ever saying I love you

Don’t play games, just do your stupid hysteria and ask me if I’m cheating every two weeks so I can make jokes and DM girls on the side but fuck it.. you love me anyway right? Bring that fucking ass over here and let me play with your hair

You don’t know how much I like our shit

We’re so fucking toxic, let’s burn the continent

It’s fun till it ain’t

We both leave

You fuck some nerds and I keep on being a scumbag and then I die by the hands of government or drugs

Miss ya (never)

(sometimes)