stories

Groupie Love

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Ah, groupies..

A staple part of the iconic rock n’ roll mythos.

What is it that compels young nubile women to leave it all and run off with degenerate guitar playing junkies who sound good on vinyl?

It’s interesting really. They say goodbye to school and hit the road with some larger than life jerkoff that’s drowning in a sea of meaningless pussy just to be another pretty face in the harem.

They spend all day giving fellatio to the gang and rambling about their hopes and dreams to a man who pretends he gives a fuck who just wants ass.

She is in love, the rocker is her entire world. And he.. well, his ego is in love. He likes her very much, but his ego.. his ego is infatuated.

He feels so good. This girl wants his babies, obeys his every word and is a grade A lay. She will cut her wrist if he says so, goddamn.

So much power over her. He loves her. Sort of. Does he though? He writes songs about her, she fuels his creativity, he loves life when she’s around.. but what happens when she nags.. or her insecurity becomes too toxic?

He cares for her, but how much longer can the show go on? I am not a rockstar. I can sure as hell relate though.

Just a little bit. A bit too much.

Bulls, Balls, Perspective

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An old bull and a young bull are on a hillside overlooking the herd below.

The young bull says, “Lets you and I run down this hill and fuck one of them cows.”

Old bull responded, “Lets walk down and fuck them all.”

Besides being an incredibly colorful and somewhat amusing tale, what’s the point of that anecdote?

It demonstrates mentality and perspective.

The bull that’s young, dumb and full of rum thinks with his dong and is looking for a quick release. He wants to bolt down there with the old homie and bang some cow coochie for a minute before blowing his load.

Old bull has been around the block and knows better. He knows there is no reason to rush those udders. He walks in his own pace because he knows patience is a virtue and by the time he warms up slowly walking down the hill, he would be in the best position to fuck whichever cow hoe he wants.

So now that I made the story even more obvious..

What can you learn from this post?

As the grizzled wrestling vets say..

SLOW. DOWN. YOU. ARE. WORKING. TOO. FAST.

No need to rush those dates or real estate deals or worry about not having 100k at the age of 20.

You can’t dash through life like The Flash and search for the easiest fix just because it’s there. You gotta take it SLOW, be clever and position yourself intelligently on the chess board of life.

I think that makes sense, yeah..

Take your fucking time and do things in a responsible and smart manner. By the time you finish your walk through life, you will be able to fuck any cow you want.

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST DOES NOT ENCOURAGE FORNICATION WITH COWS. MOO.