Reasons To Not Kill Yourself In Big 2026

Hey man, it’s 2026! Wow!

What a time to make this splendid year the best ever!

Oh.. it’s already.. oh.. that sucks

Suffering tragedy already? You wanna hang yourself? Oh Christ, buddy

Yes folks, it has come to my attention that plenty of men are ALREADY set to KILL THEMSELVES

I’ll go further than that, I am also considering shooting my face off like Cobain (allegedly)

War never ends, inflation keeps raping our cheeks, apartments are harder than ever to snag, gay porn keeps popping up whenever you try looking at fat ass MILF bitches, girls don’t date for marriage, gyms play remix tracks that are worse than ever, mom and dad never support money laundering.. and so on and so on

Where is the fucking cyanide? I am ready

Wait, wait, wait

No

NO!

The world is very bleak but I have also found plenty reasons to not die when I really think about it

There is still hope, lads

So here’s the first post of the year

Reasons to not kill yourself in 2026

REASON 1:
Money

Are you really gonna die broke like a HOMO?
While getting money honestly without fucking anyone over is harder than ever, there also plenty of chances for shrewd hustlers
You can take advantage of bubbling niche stocks and make a bitchin’ dime, abuse insider trading, sell AI or copywriting ploys to fat fuck middle management types, pimp whores on cameras.. whatever floats your boat
There is enough potential out there to not give up yet
This will be patched after Agenda 2030 tho

REASON 2:
Your grandma loves you

Dude, are you really gonna cause that heartbreak to grandma? WTF? Wait until she passes (God forbid)
Selfish cunt

REASON 3:
Pussy

Can’t die until you finally find the ultimate Instagram bad bitch funnel
So many tourist bad bitches looking for funny international dick
Fucking is still possible
Will be patched soon too however

REASON 4:
Suicide is lowkey gay

God didn’t give you life for you to take it away yourself
Try dying honorably in battle or while climbing a mountain, go out like a G or stay on Earth a little longer ya lil bish

REASON 5:
We’re all gonna make it brah

WE ARE ALL GONNA MAKE IT
Time isn’t real
Never give up
Cena said so
You HAVE TO KEEP TRYING
Make God proud
Eat shit over and over until it all works out
Life is shit, big deal
Try until you die or win
WE WILL MAKE IT AND THE UNIVERSE NEEDS YOU

Okay, that’s it
List over

Take that rope off your neck you dumb bitch, if the good guys of humanity survive the upcoming war with Satan then we can all reap the rewards of Heaven on Earth
Happy 2026
Shoutout to stupid whores and the one and only cool girl on earth

2025: Will You Glow Or Blow?

Ladies and germs, it’s officially 2025

Pull out your cocks and wash your coochie, you all survived another year of sodomy

I hope every reader seeing this did well and thrived in this harsh and grim timeline

That being said I won’t blackpill further because there’s a chance at redemption.. a return to form.. a second glory is said to be emerging

We may finally be able to ban canola and soy oils, hot hoes are wearing sundresses and learning to knit and cook, international wars are slowly dying down (for the next five years at least and whatever..) and all that other based stuff you see on Twitter seems very promising

I mean sure… the world is still gonna get jizzed on in the next two decades and we may live through Terminator 2 but for now shits looking sweet

Now the real question is

How are YOU gonna do in 2025?

Are you gonna fuck or suck?

Are you gonna get rich or die trying?

Are you gonna learn yoga?

Etc etc

My point is the same as every new year post I make in January

It’s time to forgot the sins and rack up the wins and then make love to hot Russian twins

My goals are making cash, get jacked, gaslight sexy bitches and get married to a gypsy

I also promise I will fund the worlds first WMD to run on cigar smoke and kefir, DON’T ASK ME HOW

Okay good talk

Gonna eat 200 grams of blue cheese

And for all my stans, you can pay the villain with beers! Cheers!

How To Eat Shit And Love It

“Life, I wonder… will it take me under?” -Nas

Living is never easy, let alone in these soy-soaked modern times. Too many people wearing Groot shirts, too many rockets killing people, way too many taxes.

But what can we do to cope with the hardships of existence? We can’t distract ourselves by raiding villages and butchering anymore, we need new systems.

I guess the first step would be to understand why humans suffer in the first place.

If you’re religious (smart), you can blame it on trials from God or abuse from Satan.

If you’re atheist (boo), the universe is indifferent, and the anal pegging is coincidence.

Either way, the why doesn’t really matter. Maybe you’re to blame, maybe you’re a sweetheart just dealt a bad hand… FUCKING. ACCEPT. IT.

Iconic naked Greek philosophers couldn’t figure out why humans experience all this shit, so your dumbass won’t.

Now that we can cope with our ignorance of the cosmic ways, we can focus on healing

How do you start enjoying the taste of S H I T and move on from the L?

STEP NUMBER 1:

TINY WINS.

No life is 100% dookie, there is always a small moment in time where you get that champ vibe back. Even if you immediately start having horrible stuff happen to you two days later, those tiny wins make a super difference in recovering your aura. Go after some goals, exercise and keep pushing. Generic? Maybe. Effective? Always, bitch. Think about things you have been wanting to do for a long time and couldn’t or wouldn’t and go fucking do them.
Make some money, fuck that hot girl, break up with your girlfriend, rob a bank, design a bad video game… Do whatever it is that you have on your goal list and do it well. Step by step. You will feel gooood.

SMALL NOTE: I hate how modern fruity TikTok freaks ruined the word aura.

STEP NUMBER 2:

INTROSPECTION OF SELF.

Take some time and try to really see why evil keeps striking you. As I hinted at earlier, maybe some of this stuff is unavoidable because XY but maybeeeeeeeeeeeee you really aren’t doing yourself favors. We all have our demons, it’s okay. Lord knows I do..

Try eliminating negative patterns that you see potentially leading into the type of things you complain are ruining your life. This is probably the toughest part.

And last but not least…

STEP NUMBER 3:

JUST-KEEP-MOVING -YOU-FUCKHEAD-FUCK-YOU-JUST-KEEP-MOVING.

Dude, there’s not really much more to do. There’s only two honest steps. I am not a fucking guru. Fuck your 500 words clickbait. I talk down to earth, The only way to stop the shit is to shower in the shit. And shit don’t change until you wipe your ass.

Okay, that’s ittttt.

Hope this helped you out.

My shoulders hurt, my dick is hard. Good luck to all reading. Hope you enjoyed my advice that will benefit all the two struggling genders.

Bye!!!!

Good Girl ©

How do I describe my favorite girl in the whole wide world?

How can one handsome poet, talented as he might be, even begin to do justice to the loveliness of this walking ray of sunshine?

Do I start off by talking about her amazing eyes that twinkle and shine as bright as the purest of moons?

Do I mention that she has a world class feminine figure that inspires me the desire to repopulate the earth every night?

How about praising her for loyalty and modesty?

Her sense of humor is undoubtedly the best I have ever seen in a woman, she actually makes me laugh.. like.. not at her, because of her! Yes! A woman with wit!

Her politics are b a s e d

She’s a hell of a video editor

A true throwback babe with a penchant for the heavy music of the 2000s, always Alice in Chains playing in the background of whatever hot selfie video she sends

I can go on and on

My babygirl is magic

I never thought I’d gush over someone like this, congratulations to you babe

Stole my heart she sure did

Nothing I will ever speak or write will do her awesomeness magic

She is Daddy’s little princess, the way she looks up to me fills me with such joy

We started off like every great pairing.. as verbal combatants, naturally
We insulted each other for an hour, she lurked my socials and realized I’m the greatest man that exists and a pure soul and was hooked since
I tried to resist her advances and pretend I wasn’t into her but I always went back.. talking to her just felt right

When she wasn’t around I was always missing something.. nights were empty
She’s reading this and going “Awwwww” or blushing heavily now hopefully
Honestly, our story is pretty unusual.. very old school lovey dovey yet riddled with the challenges of modernity
But I love every second of it

Even when I have to get mad at her and humble her, deep down inside I stop getting mad after five minutes

She really got me
She’s mine, totally owned, trained and well educated
And I’m hers too
It is what it is

Can’t be a smartass about it
I love her
She loves me
More than anything is what she says, more than life itself
That’s why she has a permanent spot on Papi’s lap

I’ll try not going into too much details about this but as far as night time activity?
What a match..
Sunshine knows how to get the vascularity out of her man that’s for sure

I’ve been hooked for far too long and I can’t complain
When we talked on the phone for 7 hours until sunrise for the first time.. woooooooooow
At that minute I knew, my baby has a good life in front of her
Because I got the power to make her life so exciting and from that moment on so I did

AA,
Light of my life
From Mr. LIGHT OF LIFE himself,
I love you ❤

2024: Hella Junk or Slam Dunk?

Another new year is upon us

The gyms are crowded with acne-riddled teens from TikTok

Many New Year promises that will never be fulfilled are being made as we speak

Various hoes still recovering from getting rawdogged in the Miami clubs

Wonderful times upon us all surely

If we ignore multiple money wars being waged outside the sweet little soft Western world, this really is a special time

Lots of expectations for everyone when January rolls around

I gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta fuck this bitch, gotta get XY cash

I’m getting older and older and closer to death with every day

And something I recently learned (or remembered) is that expectations are a great tool of Satan

When you start being entitled and you’re sure you gotta get this, that and the third.. not only you won’t get SHIT you will also get SHIT

And SHIT ON

It’s true

One should endeavor to work hard and facilitate change

But keep your fucking mouth shut and take it easy

I’m not just busting your balls, it’s relevant to me too

Work hard, be a good person, swim through the spikes that shred your testicles, and eventually you will reap the fruits of your labor

Hopefully

That’s it really

Thanks for reading

Fuck you ❤

Haterade In The Modern Age

Something that really gets on my ass and ruins my vibe heavy is when low vibrational soy consuming canola pushing fuckwads diss up and coming artists/athletes/scammers who are trying to chase a goal and bag up.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to become a role model for the misguided with hella cash?

I mean, it’s not me… I am broke. Allegedly. That being said.. uh..

I still have sympathy for anyone slaving away at their craft.

The guy that doxxes naked hoes and stacks e-com money spent years as a pencil pushing faggy wagie before he got slop and commissions.

The painter that spammed your feed with naked artsy portraits had to break his fingers first drawing Tanya.

That drug addicted musician got his ass tickled by Luciferian old men to publish your fav albums.

Fuck you.

You should be inspired by the creative idiots and Adderall-fueled mega hustlers because unlike you we do something.

Go buy your shitty tickets to Rome or Dubai so you can play it lit for one week you bitch.

Fucking jabroni.

Cool people who are honest with good vibes and a work ethic deserve the flex.

Bad bitches should honestly automatically give em the gap and dudes should pay whatever they ask.

Most of the population is trash and jello.

HATER.

Haters are spiritually castrated. No balls, no drive. You hate someone? Okay, do his gimmick better. Oh yeah you can’t huh? Suck a throbbing pulsating dick.

Shoutout to all the hustlers.

Although sometimes you guys suck and use very wack marketing, I don’t mind though.

It’s easy to hate behind the sofa with chips like those wannabe quarterbacks, talking about “we lost the game”.. “we”?

Dickhead.

I’m no special authority on this, I don’t have haters or massive fame. Just needles and a cute face. But it’s my site and I tell you all the correct way to think.

I will now await the DMs from the babes now.

I had to remind you all I have valuable opinions that are not about Da Fuckin’.

Fuckery, Discontent, Gratitude

Well, it’s that time again

Life finally gave me enough shitty stimuli for me to write again

Life is swell

Money is slowly stacked

I got new window shades

I make roastbeef dishes that are absolutely delightful

All the stuff that makes up for my inability to take decent chunks of shit without burning up like a scorched Afghan corpse

Since everything is on the up, I’ve been thinking.. what’s the next move? What would make me happier?

I could juice up to 220 lbs maybe?

Get a new place?

Become a G Manifesto bootleg copy with suit swoops?

I don’t fucking know, I just don’t want to be content that much I’m certain

We men are never truly satisfied, when we’re satisfied we lose our flame, our mojo, OUR BALLS

Even when God sends morally questionable hot adult teens into my life which I always ask for.. I get excited and then it’s.. just another slice of life to handle…

Business plays and parlor tricks, yada yada.. routine bullshit

I say I wanna challenge myself in the career field, I find hardass clientele that busts balls.. I get it as ordered.. And it’s like.. a nuisance.. not even a trouble.. just something you wanna move past on a checklist

What if getting my custom-made Italian suit- wandering the high-end district-Met Gala- Egyptian silk sheet threesome fantasies will disappoint just as much?

Does anything material and physical in this life besides mortal combat ever make you whole?

Besides the worship of God, everything is futile

I feel like King Solomon

Everything is so dull

The medicine to such nihilism boils down to:

  1. Keep good company
  2. Meet interesting people, find muse and inspiration in your fans and critics alike
  3. Kiss beautiful women
  4. Thank God
  5. Thank GOD

Just keep the gratitude train rolling

Because somewhere is a one-nutted motherfucker that is praying nightly to have your life as is even if it’s subjectively SHIT

I will keep wearing decent to extravagant clothing, I will keep annoying hot girls that have world-class ass (hello if you’re reading this you sexy bitch ❤️), I will continue to maintain the Stones are better than the shitty Beatles, I will not eat bugs, I will stay hot and manifest good vibes, I WILL GET A GOOD NIGHT’S REST!

Hopefully, I will continue to have more subjects to write about soon and a nice sloppy blowjob to accompany the typing

The new WordPress editor is cancer

Xoxo,
Restless Stud

Did You Know There’s A New Year™ In Planet Earth®?

Happy belated New Year you delightful fucks. How are you all doing?

You motivated to succeed until February pulls up on yo ass like an undercover cop car? You heartbroken again due to beautiful belligerent bitches? You making a lot of money at the expense of your humanity?

Whatever it may be, I understand ya.

The New Year is always an exciting time for many.

It’s all glammer and it feels like you just escaped the slammer of Previous Year.

You’re a free man/woman/toad.

There’s no calendar days attached to trauma and depression! You can start FRESH! Although the lingering rectal sting sensation from previous life fuck ups remains forever, the optimism is plentiful.

This isn’t a depressing post. It’s a motivate-you-to-rawdog-every-year-until-you-die post.

New Year is just a psyop. Time is possibly not even a real thing. But humans are symbolic and the idea of new™ lets us cope and ignore our blatant PTSD from living in the lamest era of humanity.

So my point is this:

Let’s go get this fucking bread

Let’s continue to do silly shit

Let’s lift weights and not get heart attacks like certain people randomly do now

Let’s just have fun because we all will die soon enough

To all the homies that remained in my life trying to make it, big love.

To all my sexy weirdo ladies, padre loves you too and I know you’re just confused. It’s never personal.

2023 is here and we STILL won’t rest and FOREVER will not sleep.

New Year Paradigm Shift

Yo G

Happy new year

It’s a new year but it’s lowkey the same shit

Same old painful liver inflammation and mammoth shits

Same old hoes lying and trifling and then saying you broke their heart

Same old bank balance

BUT..

You just survived the year of the devil and didn’t cave to the fascist government bullshit

There’s a different energy in the air, something is different.. whoa

You invested in crypto and you making monetary moves

You’re learning and educating yourself so you be the wise chief your tribe needs

You’re GONNA MAKE IT!

It’s a matter of time so you just need to remain consistent

Don’t plug into the oblivion of modern day society

Let the Karens and the soys and the masked cum guzzlers rot in their acidic metropolitan pools of piss while you prosper

Worst case scenario you died staying true to your ideals

Get Rich or Die Trying

There’s a hero waiting to erupt somewhere

FUCK

Happy New Years

Let’s live

Dirty deeds time

Regrets

Regrets suck. I try my best to never live with any of them but I’d be lying if I said it’s truly the case.

We all have some regrets. Some people will regret eating that pizza that caused them to vomit all over their anime body pillow, some regret blowing the one shot they had with their crush, some regret never telling their family how much they love them while they’re still around to hear.

Like I said, we all have regrets. I think most people try to hard too ignore them. They bury their regrets deep and thus they never truly cope with it.

How do you deal with it?

You don’t, they will always be buried in your subconscious unless you start smoking copious amounts of DMT..

You just gotta suck it up, live your life to the best of your ability and keep moving.

Embrace the fact you fucked up and you suck and keep improving until you make up for that one failure that haunts you.

That’s Life © and you can’t deny it.

Sinple really! But not really.

There’s no other way.

Alright, peace out.

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING NEW YEAR.. ugh. ❤