Sex Is A Drug, Drugs Are My Sex

Some people get high off pharmaceutical chemicals, some people get a high off purchasing large amounts of Gucci bags and Calvin Klein underwear.. Me? I get high off of getting pussy.

My drug of choice is the vagina, I’m addicted to the labia.

Popping off inside the warm confines of the vagine is my opioid, my heroin. It helps me forget about all my pain and woes.

When the sugar walls clamp on my moderately thick male member it’s as if I just took a big hit of some bomb ass kush. It makes me feel alive. When she rides me with conviction, I feel divine. When I see her raven black hair, her mischievous smile, I find peace. When I take a whiff and the smell of her lust reches my lungs, I don’t wanna die. Goddamn, I don’t want the high to ever stop. Fuck.

But the problem with all drugs is eventually you get hooked. Like a narcotic Wall St. broker looking to get his next fix of the booger sugar, all I can think about is when will I get my next dose and how.

To quote King Push:
“24/7, 365, pussy stays on my mind”

You’re my drug. Pale or tanned. Blonde or brunette. Busty or flat. I just wanna mate. Let me get you drunk and let’s get lost in a sea full of pubis. Make me come alive (innuendo intended).

And if I can’t get it then cannabis and benzos are pretty tight too. If only intercourse helped me sleep or digest food better though.

Make Hedonism Great Again

I for one am an avid fan of Hedonism, I think it gets a bad reputation. Hedonism is just like those thin Real Feel condoms. Risky, but satisfying.

Life is fucked up as it is in this crazy world, why shouldn’t we indulge ourselves in the pursuit of pleasure? Sure beats suffering.

People will tell ya it’s a waste of your life and a detriment to your health, that you will reach old age as a broken man and that you need to take responsibility and make something of yourself. Whatever that means.

Well, I don’t wanna reach old age. I don’t wanna be responsible, not to the extent where I throw away the potential of my life at least. People just want you to be idle, get enslaved by some asshole boss for minimum wage, marry a hag that had the time of her life getting creampied by strangers in college and slowly rot away with your spoiled bratty kids. That’s what it’s all about for them.

Growing old and settling down is greatly overrated. For some odd reason, everyone I know is eager to become an old man. They want the retirement plan, the nagging spoiled kids, the fat wife that used to be smoking hot and the erectile dysfunction medications..

What ever happened to partying until you’re 40 and dying peacefully after snorting coke off the firm ass of a 20 year old Brunette hardbody from LA? You know, the life God intended for us. Obviously.

Why are people so ready and willing to waste away their youth? That shit is something you gotta cling to and never let go, motherfucker. You only get one crack at this so get it right. Life is too short to work an office job and dance with fat chicks.

You should be going H.A.M. on the bitch known as life. You gotta storm life and pounce on its ass like a horny tiger looking for some tail. Dominate that shit. Experience everything you can before growing saggy man-tits and developing bladder disorders.

I want people to take risks. Do drugs, bang a ton of broads, make dirty money, travel, get into fights every week and develop brain damage, hang out with criminals.. the whole nine yards.

A little hedonism never hurt no one. I think the damage of living a boring life is worse than anything I just mentioned above.

I rather die in the prime of my life from chasing thrills and sticking needles in my ass than growing old to be a useless grey haired cunt, no offense to all grandpas out there.

Not be a generic Tumblr thot, but you really do only live once.

Do something crazy and have some fun for once you wankers. Let loose. End rant. Three cheers for degenerates.

 

Protect Yo Gut: Basic Yet Crucial Tips For Digestion

Guys, the older I get the more I understand the importance of a healthy digestive system. It’s so important and I can’t stress that enough. Apparently, our guts impact way more than how we absorb food. It can affect our cognitive function, our mood, whether or not we burn fat, our freaking libido and much much more. That’s just when putting it in layman’s terms, imagine saying this in medical lingo. Whew!

I could go on all fucking day about this and the science behind all the recent gut biome research, but that’s not what I am here to do.

I am here to give you normies, the basic guidelines on how to not fuck your stomach up and live with an optimal or at least decent digestive tract. I wish my Dad knew this when I was a teen because my digestion still suffers horribly from eating like a pig when young. So that’s why I am here. I’m your daddy.

  1. Avoid gluten, soy, dairy, vegetable oils, processed foods, legumes and anything high in Omega-6 like the plague. Minimize the consumption of these ASAP.
  2. Supplement with anti-inflammatory substances such as Curcumin, Berberine, Omega 3 Fish Oil and CBD oil. If you ain’t scared of drugs and oppressive laws regarding their possession, get BPC-157, TB-500, and HGH. This last part is aimed towards guys with IBS/IBD like me. It’s my extreme healing stack.
  3. Eat whole and organic food as much as possible. No GMO bullshit. Real food!
  4. Exercise like a mofo as a means to boost blood circulation, the immune system and reduce inflammation. Healthy bod, healthy diet, healthy flora.
  5. Sleep well. Poor sleep negatively affects the gut (this is where I fuck up..)
  6. Learn which foods trigger you PERSONALLY. Some of the foods on the list might actually make you feel great, but others won’t. Know your body. It’s very individual.
  7. Take digestive enzymes and probiotics.
  8. Hydrate, madafaka! 2 liters a day minimum.
  9. Don’t eat out in restaurants. They cook with all the shitty oils I advise you to avoid. Better to eat out your girl than eat out at the local burger joint.
  10. If you got chronic pain due to a compromised gut biome or chronic disease, avoid pharmaceutical pain relief medicine unless absolutely necessary.  Shit like opioids and anti-inflammation drugs that are catabolic and send your body to hell while allegedly helping you heal.

 

That’s about it. Like I said, very simple basics. I learned all this through personal trial and error and some research online from shady Chinese academical studies. I am sure someone will disagree with what I wrote, everyone has their own hot take on digestion and gut health. Oh well. I ain’t bullshitting though. Do with my info what you will.

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND, YOUR MILEAGE MAY VARY. OUR GUTS ARE UNIQUE AND SO IS OUR BIOCHEMISTRY. LIKE I SAID, THESE ARE GENERAL GUIDELINES. SO DON’T BITCH IF SOMETHING ON THIS LIST DOESN’T TRIGGER YOUR TUMMY LIKE IT DOES FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

This was the first post to focus on health stuff. I think it went over well.

Peace out, guys. Go eat something healthy and absorb some Vitamin D from the hot summer sun. I will try to do the same.