Reasons To Not Kill Yourself In Big 2026

Hey man, it’s 2026! Wow!

What a time to make this splendid year the best ever!

Oh.. it’s already.. oh.. that sucks

Suffering tragedy already? You wanna hang yourself? Oh Christ, buddy

Yes folks, it has come to my attention that plenty of men are ALREADY set to KILL THEMSELVES

I’ll go further than that, I am also considering shooting my face off like Cobain (allegedly)

War never ends, inflation keeps raping our cheeks, apartments are harder than ever to snag, gay porn keeps popping up whenever you try looking at fat ass MILF bitches, girls don’t date for marriage, gyms play remix tracks that are worse than ever, mom and dad never support money laundering.. and so on and so on

Where is the fucking cyanide? I am ready

Wait, wait, wait

No

NO!

The world is very bleak but I have also found plenty reasons to not die when I really think about it

There is still hope, lads

So here’s the first post of the year

Reasons to not kill yourself in 2026

REASON 1:
Money

Are you really gonna die broke like a HOMO?
While getting money honestly without fucking anyone over is harder than ever, there also plenty of chances for shrewd hustlers
You can take advantage of bubbling niche stocks and make a bitchin’ dime, abuse insider trading, sell AI or copywriting ploys to fat fuck middle management types, pimp whores on cameras.. whatever floats your boat
There is enough potential out there to not give up yet
This will be patched after Agenda 2030 tho

REASON 2:
Your grandma loves you

Dude, are you really gonna cause that heartbreak to grandma? WTF? Wait until she passes (God forbid)
Selfish cunt

REASON 3:
Pussy

Can’t die until you finally find the ultimate Instagram bad bitch funnel
So many tourist bad bitches looking for funny international dick
Fucking is still possible
Will be patched soon too however

REASON 4:
Suicide is lowkey gay

God didn’t give you life for you to take it away yourself
Try dying honorably in battle or while climbing a mountain, go out like a G or stay on Earth a little longer ya lil bish

REASON 5:
We’re all gonna make it brah

WE ARE ALL GONNA MAKE IT
Time isn’t real
Never give up
Cena said so
You HAVE TO KEEP TRYING
Make God proud
Eat shit over and over until it all works out
Life is shit, big deal
Try until you die or win
WE WILL MAKE IT AND THE UNIVERSE NEEDS YOU

Okay, that’s it
List over

Take that rope off your neck you dumb bitch, if the good guys of humanity survive the upcoming war with Satan then we can all reap the rewards of Heaven on Earth
Happy 2026
Shoutout to stupid whores and the one and only cool girl on earth

The Sins and Wins Of 2022 (Ranking)

Hello fellow degenerates and thirsty women lurking my site!

Today we are going to name everything that is certified FRESH/LIT/HITS STRAIGHT ON THE CLIT and GOOD in 2022 and everything that’s WACK/SHITTIER THAN A HOMELESS MANS CRACK in 2022 and BAAAD.

Let’s begin!

GOOD

  1. Italian luxury wear.
  2. Cigars becoming accessible not just to rich cunts.
  3. Lockdowns ending (until the next fake wave)
  4. Photoshop skills becoming more prevelant in society.
  5. Facebook is officially cringe and an old man app.
  6. Brock Lesnar.
  7. Stocks are on the up and five years from now we rich.
  8. Cotton jackets.
  9. Kanye fighting the media.
  10. Me.

BAD

  1. We lose more and more freedom every day and society embraces fascism while calling real freedom fighters da re4l fascistz.
  2. Old pedos ruling the US government.
  3. Soy foods still exist.
  4. Marvel Phase 4 besides Spider-Man and Dr. Strange.
  5. Women becoming more soulless on social media.
  6. Men becoming softer and softer still.
  7. OF
  8. Breast reductions.
  9. Gas prices.
  10. I don’t have a Rolex yet/a new Iraq type war in Russia.

That’s it!

No explanation needed.

Go jerk off.

We live in a HOMOgenized society

It’s a Sunday Monday.

You wake up at 7:30 am, you slept like shit the night before and you barely get any morning wood anymore. You curse your maker and go take your piss with a hobo-ish limp because you’re still hungover from binge drinking cheap supermarket vodka for no apparent reason.

You stumble into the kitchen to see your shitty children. Your son who is a skinny little twerp with a face not even a mother could love from excessive soy consumption is eating a tofu omlette. Your daughter who is the town whore just finished taking her lame morning selfie for Instagram so 20 year old horndogs can beat off to her and send her cum tributes.

The wife is on her phone, you approach to give her a kiss and she pushes you away because you smell like dog semen and did not brush your yellow rotten teeth. She goes back to texting her Ethiopian lover you don’t know about because you are retarded.

It’s now 9:20 am.

You are on your way to work. You are stuck in traffic. Hopelessly puffing on cigarettes to ease your anxiety. Your therapist who is addicted to coke told you to quit but you never fucking listen. You contemplate jumping into the highway and committing suicide.

You don’t.

It’s 1:30 pm.

You finish your day of work a little early. Good for you, fuckhead. You are probably tired of sitting in a broken chair everyday in a cubicle designed according to the whims of some soulless corporate overlords.

You pack up your briefcase and leave the office to make your way home. On the way out you see some ugly dykes with shaved hair and their fat pink Mohawk having “male” friends, they point at you and laugh while lamenting on how lame and dumb it is to be an office working white man. They are also white but don’t work. You sigh and enter the car. Gas is empty. Damn.

4:00 pm.

You go back home. Finally. You have the rest of the day to yourself.

You can vaguely hear noise coming from upstairs. It’s just your hoe daughter fingering herself for OnlyFans. No big deal. Sex work is normal now.

You take a Xanny and turn on ESPN hoping to chill out. Your wife comes home with papers. What? Oh shit. The divorce papers. Today is the day. Fuck, how did you forget?

You try to convince her you should stay together but she won’t have it. She wants to be with Abraham. He is diverse, richer and knows how to facefuck her unlike you. He also has a six pack and steady access to steroid drug kingpins.

You finally cave in and sign the papers. You tell her you still love her. She says she never loved you in the first place. She leaves the house because her new man called her over to fuck.

You wipe your tears and go to bed. You wish you could beat her boyfriends ass and win her back. Suddenly you are filled with ancient rage and a desire to transform your miserable fucking life. You contemplate finally dieting, kicking your kids out and shooting the black lovers head off.

But you don’t. The Xanny kicked in and you fell asleep after jerking off. You have some jizz residue on your lips. You kill yourself the next day.

This is society.

What Might Have Been

I been playing the good ol’ “What If?™” game in my head recently. Yes, that game where you beat yourself up for past mistakes and wasted opportunities.

I am not one for regrets, but I sometimes can’t help but wonder if I missed out on something life changing. If you guessed earlier that this is gonna be about women.. you are correct, jerk.

What If?™ that beautiful woman you never properly had the sack to hit it off with was gonna lead you to the best next six months of your life?

What If?™ you were gonna finally find your wholesome monogamy worthy lady and you never scared her off by posting videos of yourself doing drugs and fucking hoes on your Instagram?

What If?™ the woman you sent your sausage pics to was actually really into you and you blew it because now she thinks you’re a perverted fuck?

What If?™ I could stop and enjoy life for a moment and not piss off every person I meet?

What If?™ I was just another boring normative kid? One that has zero personality, a mediocre girlfriend that doesn’t love him and friends who pretend to like him? Just another idiot living in the Matrix, plugged in and too delusional to realize how fucked up his life is?

What If?™

It’s 1:37 AM, probably not gonna be able to sleep and dream of perky blondes. As usual.

Fuck.