mental health

Reasons To Not Kill Yourself In Big 2026

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Hey man, it’s 2026! Wow!

What a time to make this splendid year the best ever!

Oh.. it’s already.. oh.. that sucks

Suffering tragedy already? You wanna hang yourself? Oh Christ, buddy

Yes folks, it has come to my attention that plenty of men are ALREADY set to KILL THEMSELVES

I’ll go further than that, I am also considering shooting my face off like Cobain (allegedly)

War never ends, inflation keeps raping our cheeks, apartments are harder than ever to snag, gay porn keeps popping up whenever you try looking at fat ass MILF bitches, girls don’t date for marriage, gyms play remix tracks that are worse than ever, mom and dad never support money laundering.. and so on and so on

Where is the fucking cyanide? I am ready

Wait, wait, wait

No

NO!

The world is very bleak but I have also found plenty reasons to not die when I really think about it

There is still hope, lads

So here’s the first post of the year

Reasons to not kill yourself in 2026

REASON 1:
Money

Are you really gonna die broke like a HOMO?
While getting money honestly without fucking anyone over is harder than ever, there also plenty of chances for shrewd hustlers
You can take advantage of bubbling niche stocks and make a bitchin’ dime, abuse insider trading, sell AI or copywriting ploys to fat fuck middle management types, pimp whores on cameras.. whatever floats your boat
There is enough potential out there to not give up yet
This will be patched after Agenda 2030 tho

REASON 2:
Your grandma loves you

Dude, are you really gonna cause that heartbreak to grandma? WTF? Wait until she passes (God forbid)
Selfish cunt

REASON 3:
Pussy

Can’t die until you finally find the ultimate Instagram bad bitch funnel
So many tourist bad bitches looking for funny international dick
Fucking is still possible
Will be patched soon too however

REASON 4:
Suicide is lowkey gay

God didn’t give you life for you to take it away yourself
Try dying honorably in battle or while climbing a mountain, go out like a G or stay on Earth a little longer ya lil bish

REASON 5:
We’re all gonna make it brah

WE ARE ALL GONNA MAKE IT
Time isn’t real
Never give up
Cena said so
You HAVE TO KEEP TRYING
Make God proud
Eat shit over and over until it all works out
Life is shit, big deal
Try until you die or win
WE WILL MAKE IT AND THE UNIVERSE NEEDS YOU

Okay, that’s it
List over

Take that rope off your neck you dumb bitch, if the good guys of humanity survive the upcoming war with Satan then we can all reap the rewards of Heaven on Earth
Happy 2026
Shoutout to stupid whores and the one and only cool girl on earth

How To Eat Shit And Love It

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“Life, I wonder… will it take me under?” -Nas

Living is never easy, let alone in these soy-soaked modern times. Too many people wearing Groot shirts, too many rockets killing people, way too many taxes.

But what can we do to cope with the hardships of existence? We can’t distract ourselves by raiding villages and butchering anymore, we need new systems.

I guess the first step would be to understand why humans suffer in the first place.

If you’re religious (smart), you can blame it on trials from God or abuse from Satan.

If you’re atheist (boo), the universe is indifferent, and the anal pegging is coincidence.

Either way, the why doesn’t really matter. Maybe you’re to blame, maybe you’re a sweetheart just dealt a bad hand… FUCKING. ACCEPT. IT.

Iconic naked Greek philosophers couldn’t figure out why humans experience all this shit, so your dumbass won’t.

Now that we can cope with our ignorance of the cosmic ways, we can focus on healing

How do you start enjoying the taste of S H I T and move on from the L?

STEP NUMBER 1:

TINY WINS.

No life is 100% dookie, there is always a small moment in time where you get that champ vibe back. Even if you immediately start having horrible stuff happen to you two days later, those tiny wins make a super difference in recovering your aura. Go after some goals, exercise and keep pushing. Generic? Maybe. Effective? Always, bitch. Think about things you have been wanting to do for a long time and couldn’t or wouldn’t and go fucking do them.
Make some money, fuck that hot girl, break up with your girlfriend, rob a bank, design a bad video game… Do whatever it is that you have on your goal list and do it well. Step by step. You will feel gooood.

SMALL NOTE: I hate how modern fruity TikTok freaks ruined the word aura.

STEP NUMBER 2:

INTROSPECTION OF SELF.

Take some time and try to really see why evil keeps striking you. As I hinted at earlier, maybe some of this stuff is unavoidable because XY but maybeeeeeeeeeeeee you really aren’t doing yourself favors. We all have our demons, it’s okay. Lord knows I do..

Try eliminating negative patterns that you see potentially leading into the type of things you complain are ruining your life. This is probably the toughest part.

And last but not least…

STEP NUMBER 3:

JUST-KEEP-MOVING -YOU-FUCKHEAD-FUCK-YOU-JUST-KEEP-MOVING.

Dude, there’s not really much more to do. There’s only two honest steps. I am not a fucking guru. Fuck your 500 words clickbait. I talk down to earth, The only way to stop the shit is to shower in the shit. And shit don’t change until you wipe your ass.

Okay, that’s ittttt.

Hope this helped you out.

My shoulders hurt, my dick is hard. Good luck to all reading. Hope you enjoyed my advice that will benefit all the two struggling genders.

Bye!!!!

2024: Hella Junk or Slam Dunk?

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Another new year is upon us

The gyms are crowded with acne-riddled teens from TikTok

Many New Year promises that will never be fulfilled are being made as we speak

Various hoes still recovering from getting rawdogged in the Miami clubs

Wonderful times upon us all surely

If we ignore multiple money wars being waged outside the sweet little soft Western world, this really is a special time

Lots of expectations for everyone when January rolls around

I gotta do this, gotta do that, gotta fuck this bitch, gotta get XY cash

I’m getting older and older and closer to death with every day

And something I recently learned (or remembered) is that expectations are a great tool of Satan

When you start being entitled and you’re sure you gotta get this, that and the third.. not only you won’t get SHIT you will also get SHIT

And SHIT ON

It’s true

One should endeavor to work hard and facilitate change

But keep your fucking mouth shut and take it easy

I’m not just busting your balls, it’s relevant to me too

Work hard, be a good person, swim through the spikes that shred your testicles, and eventually you will reap the fruits of your labor

Hopefully

That’s it really

Thanks for reading

Fuck you ❤

Current Year Blues

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I was born in the wrong decade. About 40 years too late to my estimation.

Now I know every edgy neglected teenager likes to claim he missed the golden years because everything now sucks sweaty ass cheeks, but honestly.. I really did miss it.
Born too late for World War 2 and missed my chance to have bullets pierce my pale skin in the bloody trenches.
Born too late to witness the genesis of the sexual revolution where loose women would have dropped acid with me and gave me tooth-filled blowjobs before vomiting from an overdose..
Born too late for 1980s New York City where the mob ruled the state with an iron fist and you couldn’t enter Copacabana without brushing shoulders with a capo and his goomah..
You get the point I’m trying to make, right?
Yes you do, folks.
[CURRENT YEAR] sucks uncircumcised cock. I am stuck in the generation of faggy selfies, sex bots and OnlyFans.

Bitching about it is pointless but I can’t sleep so fuck off.

We now live in a time where genuine connection between humans keeps alluding us and is replaced by texting.
A time where the family unit is being raped before our very eyes.
A time where honor and masculinity is just another buzzword used for virtue signaling and gaining favor with people you plan to scam.
A time where my fucking olive oil is being replaced with canola.

What the fuck is going on in planet earth?
How did we lose it all so quickly?
Shit, maybe dictatorship wasn’t such a bad idea.

We really can’t be trusted with our freedom.
I cry out for the days where we hunted bears and hung out with chimps before going to our wholesome little cave of a house to fuck the shit out of our thick skulled cavewoman.
Yeah, I know it’s highly likely I would have been stomped to death by a T-Rex.. who cares? At least I wouldn’t be able to lose my job and digital bank account for calling a hermaphrodite a grade A cunt.

I am not in favor of being blackpilled whatsoever, but damn it.. I really sympathize with those who are knees deep in the river of shit called modernity.

The only things keeping me sane in this horrid time period is being able to lift weights, being able to flirt with big buzzom women and see their tits, being able to experiment with illegal chemicals and the option of potentially stabbing someone in an alley should he piss me off.

Life isn’t all that bad though, as long as you spiritually stay strong and avoid Satan’s traps as much as you can..
If you can still bench press, life is still good.
If you still got the money to buy a private island and tanks, life is still good.
If you got at least ONE decent friend, life is still good.
If you read this blog and think I am half-way interesting or wise, life is still good.

Life is still good, right?
You know we’re allowed to vent, bitch and moan here and there because I fucking said we can.
Life ain’t all roses and pink pussy. Shit’s rough.
But we get through.
We all make it.
That’s life.