Love = Facefucks

It’s the weekend. Early morning, a young hetero couple is watching GoT on Netflix. They share a glass of wine and start to get heated. Shirts are removed. Soaking panties are thrown aside. The woman is heavily aroused after an hour of watching ultra violence, dragons and prostitutes getting brutally railed by masculine barbarians.

So what does her man do in this scenario? You would think he is gonna rough the ever living fuck out of her gushing holes, but alas it isn’t the case.

The poor woman instead gets treated to 10 minutes of poorly executed missionary and a failed attempt at cunnilingus.

Way to go, loser. Your woman wanted you to give her the aggressive boinking of a lifetime and you fuck it up. Over and over. Why? Because you don’t wanna demean her.. it’s disrespectful to rawdog your significant other like a Santa Monica callgirl. At least, that’s what some guys keep telling themselves. 

We have a generation of men that lack the testicular fortitude needed to properly give dick to their poor ladies. THAT IS WHY THEY FUCK THE POOL GUY AND TYRONE.

YOU ARE NOT PUSHING HER SHIT IN, BUDDY.

Newsflash! Most women want to be fucked and they want to be fucked hard. She wants you to take charge and inseminate her like a porn star that’s hopped up on erection pills.

I honestly believe that a healthy weekly dose of humiliating, no holds barred sex is the key to a successful relationship. Of course, you still gotta have game and not be a cuck but that’s a different post for a different audience.

Would it kill you to pull her hair, smack her firm ass and whisper dirty things in her ear once in a while? It doesn’t mean you don’t love her, silly. It shows you care!

Buy a set of handcuffs, a whip and make her gag on your magic Johnson! Man the fuck up, tofu eater.

Remember, kids! Break her cervix.. not her heart.

What Might Have Been

I been playing the good ol’ “What If?™” game in my head recently. Yes, that game where you beat yourself up for past mistakes and wasted opportunities.

I am not one for regrets, but I sometimes can’t help but wonder if I missed out on something life changing. If you guessed earlier that this is gonna be about women.. you are correct, jerk.

What If?™ that beautiful woman you never properly had the sack to hit it off with was gonna lead you to the best next six months of your life?

What If?™ you were gonna finally find your wholesome monogamy worthy lady and you never scared her off by posting videos of yourself doing drugs and fucking hoes on your Instagram?

What If?™ the woman you sent your sausage pics to was actually really into you and you blew it because now she thinks you’re a perverted fuck?

What If?™ I could stop and enjoy life for a moment and not piss off every person I meet?

What If?™ I was just another boring normative kid? One that has zero personality, a mediocre girlfriend that doesn’t love him and friends who pretend to like him? Just another idiot living in the Matrix, plugged in and too delusional to realize how fucked up his life is?

What If?™

It’s 1:37 AM, probably not gonna be able to sleep and dream of perky blondes. As usual.

Fuck.